ANECDOTES .... 5

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99     N A N A J I  ...     the  SUPERMAN
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        He found it as an honor,  when children in his neighborhood began calling him “ Nanaji ” when he crossed his Diamond Jubilee year and he continued to thrill the children despite his advancing years.  He never grew old or senile in his adorable interaction with children, who loved and adored him. He ran and played with them like equals and enjoyed their fun and games enthusiastically. He had his ears listening to their blabber, arms to hold their fingers and a heart bubbling with love for them.

           “ Grandpa is my name and enthralling them is my game.”.  All the children in the colony shouted “ NANAJI”  the moment they saw him on the streets while going to school or strolling with their parents. He was the grandpa for all the children in the residential colony. You   wonder, whether he did not have a grandchild of his own.  Yes. He had, but living far away in Kolkata.  He used to visit every year during summer holidays and his grandson was equally thrilled in his company, listening to the interesting stories and adventures, all through the night. Grandpa had enough adventurous incidents of his own life to narrate to his grandson. The familiar fantasy classics of Tarzan, Mahabharata or Hanuman were relegated to the background.  The ever-widening eyes of his grandson used to inspire Grandpa to dramatize and physically show how it was done, making his grandson feel delighted that his Grandpa was a real hero himself. He would even demonstrate how to climb a coconut tree, bare handed.  Many times, the excited boy used to run to his father to ask whether he can do it like Grandpa. Grandpa was really indulging himself in his new role, coolly reflecting his own promotion from fading fatherhood. Great fathers no doubt, get promoted as great Grandpas.

            Grandpa was a good actor himself in his younger days and found an attentive listener in his grandson about his theatrical performances. Some of the interesting incidents during his reign as an amateur actor in his younger days were easily accessible for creating an exciting scene with his grandson. “ You know, many people were watching “ super Cop” drama in the night in an open stage,  expecting some adventurous stunts and feats. It was going to be an exciting event.  You know what happened on that night. To the shock of everyone in the crowd watching the drama, a nine feet long super snake, was found moving under the chairs especially where a boy and his mother were sitting.”   The grandson was now alarmed and excited at this unusual development in the story.   “ The mother saw the snake. The scared crowd of spectators started running here and there to escape from the big snake. There was no one to help her. The frightened mother looked at the Super cop in the stage desperately and shouted for help.  The Super cop heard her call and jumped from the stage, almost 10feet high and came rushing towards the mother, to save the boy from the snake. The boy was afraid when the super cop caught hold of him, raised him up on his shoulders and took his mother far away from the snake. The boy was afraid of the snake and also the super cop who was a stranger. The snake was caught and killed. The mother was happy and the boy looked at the stranger… the super cop.  The boy was now afraid of the stranger holding him on his shoulders.  The mother laughed at him and told that the Cop is his father, acting as Super cop in the Drama.  The boy could not recognize his own father, because he was in police uniform, wearing a police cap and a tough mustache as make-up ”.

           The grandson was excited at this amazing development in the story and the  Grandpa continued to thrill him further.  “ Do you know who was that super cop ?” The grandson shook his head.  “ The super cop was myself acting in that Drama”  The grandson was astonished to know that grandpa was the actor in the drama.  “ Do you know who was that boy whom I saved ?” Grandson shook his head again.  “ It was your daddy.” This was indeed an incredible climax for the boy.  The grandson got up and ran towards his Daddy to confirm the incident.  Grandpa was beaming with pride in recollecting the long forgotten incident when he was busy playing many roles in Dramas as a pastime hobby.

          “ Grandpa is my name and enthralling him is my game.”.   The extracurricular activities and expertise learnt during his young age came in handy for the grandpa to keep his grandson fully engrossed. Wrestling, climbing trees, drawing pictures, swimming etc., gave him ample scope to entertain and educate the boy endlessly. Grandpa had recently undergone by-pass surgery and was quite subdued in his activities. When the boy was attending swimming classes during next summer, grandpa started accompanying him daily. He found the coach very systematic in training the boy. Memories of his adventurous swimming errands in his youth in the ponds, lakes, rivers and the risky swim at the sea near Kanyakumari,  kept orbiting his mind endlessly. One day he was inspired to surprise his grandson with his famous somersault. When the class was over, the grandpa in his swimwear stepped on to the high pedestal board, surprising his grandson and others, waved his hand, took a few steps and jumped on the springboard to execute his famous somersault, into the pool below. The long forgotten feat was still perfect in execution but the physical strain of the jump and the cold water below was  an unexpected and shocking experience. He found the flexibility of his muscles partially paralyzed, totally preventing him to propel himself to swim through water. Grandpa was in a daze under water, not knowing what was happening to him.  The deep dive was taking him down below to the bottom of the pool. He was unable to maneuver any part of his body to ascend. When he found his feet touching the bottom ground, he managed to give a push to his body in a desperate attempt to propel himself to surface and recover his losing breath. It was a miracle that he managed to reach the surface ultimately before it was too late. He almost lost his consciousness due to breathlessness.  He managed to float in the surface for some time to recover from the shock, the claps and shrieks of the boys hardly audible to him. The grandson was delirious with excitement after seeing the super somersault of his Hero. It was no doubt a foolhardy attempt by the Grandpa to impress his grandson, despite the warning given by his Doctor to avoid cold water and other strenuous deeds, after the bypass surgery.  But Grandpas are like that everywhere.  They become vulnerable in front of their grandchildren and indulge in long forgotten freak and weird things.    God bless them.     Long live Grandpas…

          “ Grandpa is my name and enthralling him is my game. ”.  This summer, grandson came to his Grandpa’s house at Konkan with his parents to enjoy the change. The grandson found to his surprise that all the children in the neighborhood called his grandpa as  NANAJI  and he had to assert his exclusive right on him. Grandpa found it amusing when they fought for their claim over him as “ my Nanaji ”. Whenever the Grandpa took him out on sight-seeing errands, the boy found the Grandpa within his exclusive reign. On the third day, when they went for a long walk, grandpa was surprised to find a crowd of picnickers on the outskirts of the city, enjoying horse safaris.  The grandson was excited to see persons riding horses and was totally absorbed in the activity. The gait and gallop of the horses was really captivating. The Grandpa enquired about ponies for his grandson to ride and found it was not available.

         

          “ Grandpa.. Can you ride these horses ? ” was the innocent question that sparked the ever-ready Hero to action. Within minutes, Grandpa arranged for the horse safari for himself with the grandson together, after much argument with the coach who was reluctant to allow two persons to ride a horse.  When the horse was brought, Grandpa managed to mount the horse which was slightly unmanageable. The horse had to be controlled with some effort. When the grandson was being lifted to mount the horse, the agitated animal raised its front legs up in the air disapprovingly thereby upsetting Grandpa’s hold and galloped away from the area.   Grandpa was toppled high up in the air and landed in the ground with a thud, to the utter dismay of everyone including the grandson. The crowd of spectators were startled after seeing this calamity and gathered around the still body of Grandpa. His body lay in an awkward position, blood oozing from his nostrils, eyes looking blank,  hands and fingers trembling. The grandson was still throwing an admirable look at his Heroic stunt, not realizing the gravity of the mishap.   Someone in the crowd recognized him and he was rushed to the nearby Hospital.

          Horse riding itself is potentially dangerous and any fall from a reluctant horse is invariably fatal, especially if the rider is unlucky. Freak events like this are unpredictable and grandpa was not familiar with this sport.  The final showdown of the legend of the great Grandpa was a disaster, staring at his son and grandson. Climaxes are usually plenty in humdrum story-books;   whereas in the real world, anti-climax is quite common and normal.

          The best medical care could not revive Grandpa who was in coma for some time since the fall. He recovered a little later and was partially paralyzed.  He needs a wheel chair and sometimes an oxygen mask to breath. The grandson could not understand the make-up worn and the role being played by his Super Hero. He is upset and restless…..

           “ Why, Grandpa is not looking at me ?       Is he acting ? ”

      

      A Story becomes unforgettable, when no one likes the ending

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98               OVER  RIPE
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        It was past midnight. The consistent noise from outside her window woke her up. She saw the old lady from her adjacent flat gesticulating and trying to say something desperately through her window.    Alarmed, she got up immediately and heard her faint voice. “ There is a thief in my house in the other room.  I have locked myself in bedroom.  Help me.     Call for help.    QUICK ”

        The 77 years old lady was her neighbor, living all alone in her own flat after the untimely death of her retired husband. She mixed with a few in the Housing complex.  The Secretary and Security guards were acquainted with her status and nature. She had enough funds in her Bank and was also drawing pension from her job after retirement.     She would go to Bank, draw her pension, pay bills and see films, visit doctor  etc., with her close friend in the Complex. She managed her day to day affairs all by herself and enjoyed being alone, care free and independent. Her only daughter was settled in Canada and she visited her a few times.  She was not agreeable to settle down with her.   She went to the Bank yesterday to draw money for her medical expenses.  Somebody must have followed her.

        The alarmed neighbor woke up the Secretary of the Apartment, who had an extra key of the old lady’s flat and with a few more members and security staff, opened the flat quietly for the ‘surgical strike’.  After a thorough search in the Hall, Kitchen, Bath room etc., no thief was found.  It was quite a queer situation.  The old lady opened her door after much persuasion. With a pale, frozen and panic stricken face, she exclaimed…“ He was opening the Cupboard ..  and searching for my money… I saw him clearly.. I quietly locked my room and called for help. He is still here, somewhere. ”    Her whole body was shivering in fright making her loose self-control. Everyone tried to pacify and assure her that no thief was around and she is quite safe. No amount of trying to pacify her was doing any good. 

                              

                               “ Calm down. Calm down  ”

                            “ You  had a frightening dream   ”

                          “I think you had a disturbed sleep. ”

                         “ Did you take the pill before sleep? ” 

                        “ Probably you are having nightmares ”

                   “ You should go and stay with your daughter. ”

              “ You might have taken over-doze of that medicine.”

        Their well meaning words appeared to have an almost opposite effect on her. She continued to remain distrustful and suspicious.  One by one, most of them left except her close friend who remained with her long enough to comfort her and tried to dispel her delusions.

        She was 77 years old …  stubborn, very independent and continued to live all alone in her own house. If you meet a loner like her, no matter what she tells you, it's not because she enjoys solitude but because she had tried to blend into the world and people continued to disappoint her.  Her husband was her only Hero, isolating her from others who tried to fill into her space.   The sudden loss of him, within a few months after her retirement, was a great shock and disaster, which broke her to pieces. In her loneliest moments, she was watching her whole world fall apart and all she could do was to stare blankly, holding back the memories, without him to share.  The real pain was her loneliness in old age,  lack of close family ties and reduced social connections, leaving a demoralizing effect on her mind and behavior.   The changes that accompany old age require flexibility and new coping skills, to adapt and adjust to the changes.  Of late, she was not able to sleep properly and consequent depression and other ailments necessitated medical treatment, tablets etc., the side effects of which was sending her into severe bouts of depression, hopelessness, despair, feeling of emptiness, mood swings, hallucinations, moving visions, hearing noises or voices etc., There is a chance that she may be afflicted with Schizophrenia,  a serious mental disorder in which people interpret reality in a psychotic way.  Many times, disorganized thinking about being exploited or harmed creep into their mindset causing unpredictable illusions and behavior,  seeing or hearing things that don't exist. The Lady secretary of the Housing complex advised her to give the door key so that in case of emergency she would be able to enter her house for help etc., which she did.

        She has been living a well organized and orderly life without causing any disturbance. Her daily routine was totally inside the four walls of her house leaving no scope for any robust interaction with other members of the society. Her frequent visits to her Doctor were also mostly personal, except with her close friend on some occasions. Her friend was now familiar with her depressed mood swings caused by loneliness and the prescribed medications took care of that problem.  The Doctor had warned her against over doze of the tablet, which alone might have caused this unusual episode.

        Before leaving her house, her friend enquired about the tablet she takes for relief as advised by the Doctor. “ Yes.  I took it yesterday night. ”  she admitted.  Her friend was satisfied and as there was nothing more to comfort, she was going to take leave of her.

        “ Let me see how much he has taken ” The old lady got up abruptly, to check her cupboard where she used to keep the money drawn from the Bank. With a shivering voice she exclaimed.. “ My God… He has taken all the money.  What should I do now  ? ”

        Her friend was taken aback and tried to pacify her.  “  There was no thief. Check up again.  You might have kept it somewhere else.  ”  She started helping her in searching for the missing money.

        “  When  I drew the money and he saw it  and followed me .”

        “ OK..OK.. How much did you draw ? ”    Her friend asked.

        “  20000 rupees…. It is all gone..”  The old lady   grieved.

Her friend was finding it increasingly difficult to handle the situation.

        “  Check up your hand bag.   It might still be there ”

        The old lady started searching for her hand bag and after finding it, made a thorough search of it.  There was some cash but not the 20000 rupees.  She turned her bag upside down in desperation to show her friend the loss of cash. Suddenly a metal coin fell down and both were surprised.   Her friend bent down and collected the coin and found it strange.  It had a number 317 imprinted on it.

        “ What is this ?  Quite strange thing ”.  Her friend asked.

        The old lady was now a little confused and was struggling to find an answer to its presence. The friend was now able to confront the old lady by questioning her about its presence in an effort to distract her away from her delusions.

        “  What is this number ?  Who gave this to you ? ”

“  Oh.  This is the Bank Token for collecting the cash from the counter.  How is it still here ? ”  The old lady was struggling to find an answer to its presence.

        “ Did you collect the cash ?  ”  Her friend asked

          “ Yes.. I did..”  said the old lady hesitatingly.

        “ If you have collected,  how is the token still with you? ”

 “ The thief must have kept it ” The old lady blurted out, in coherently.

       

        Her friend was now at her wit’s end.  She was not aware of the schizophrenic effect of disorganized thinking and ramblings of the old lady.  She found it beyond her genius to handle the situation. From the “ lurking thief ” to the “ missing cash ” it was a complex issue to be sorted out  at this odd hour. She left the old lady under the care of a security guard posted outside her flat for the remaining portion of the night.

        The next day she escorted the old lady to the Bank carrying her Cheque and Passbooks to sort out the “ missing cash ”. She had spent lot of time coaching the old lady what exactly she should speak with the Bank staff. It appeared as if the entry of the old  lady was perhaps an eagerly expected event in the Bank, as she was directly taken to the room of the Branch Manager. Soon the cashier and other staff also gathered around to witness the event.  The old lady slowly took out the token No. 317 and placed it on his table with trepidation.  With a queering voice, she said, “ I have this token with me for withdrawing Rs.20000 from my account yesterday.  But I do not have the money with me,  Can you please check up your records. ”

        The Branch Manager looked at her sternly for some time, making her quirk awkwardly. Slowly his stern lips curved into a smile. Instead of prolonging the suspense, he called the Cashier to explain how the old lady left without collecting the money, even though her number was called many times and flashed in the screen also.  Ultimately they had to show it as unpaid after closing the accounts for the day.  It was a great relief for the old lady and her friend when the “puzzle” was solved and she was able to collect the “missing amount”.

        While returning home, her friend took the old lady to her Doctor to discuss and consult about the bizarre incident.  The Doctor asked her to show the Tablet prescribed by him a few days before.  The old lady picked it from her handbag and showed him.  “ My God… 2 mg…. What is this ? Show me the prescription ” . When the prescription was shown, it was found that the tablet of 1 mg was the one prescribed by him. “ I told you not to take over doze, but you are taking 2mg” The old lady was a bit perplexed and said “ No..I am taking only one per day. Not over doze”.  The Doctor was annoyed but to shorten the long sequences of how it happened,  it transpired that the tablet of 1mg was not available and the Druggist gave her 2 mg tablet asking her to cut it into half and take one piece daily as prescribed.  The old lady must have forgotten the instruction, just as she forgot to collect the money from Bank.      

         

          The Doctor could only prescribe medicine to generate the right conditions for the healing process. She is now a victim of Senility or dementia, driving her cognitive abilities far away from ground realities. Her ability to concentrate, recall information and to properly judge a situation has deteriorated due to old age and insecurity. She cannot go on unfettered anymore and may need continuous care and assistance in her day to day activities of life.

          Who will decide for her ?

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97        ART  OF   LIVING
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Do not look grim and serious always. Heavens are not going to fall on your head.  Take it easy and start smiling. Smile goes miles. Always greet, smile and be cheerful to each one.   Let your smiling face be your logo for all. Smile is the best tonic. Try once and feel the difference. Wear your best clothes always, to look decent and impressive. It enhances your mood and attitude. Walk with your chest forward like a soldier, even if it is around your own block.  Be assertive and say what you want. It boosts your self-esteem and ego. This is your life and it is made up of your choices.   May your actions speak all about you. 

Spend and participate in memorable sight-seeing tours, pilgrimages, seminars, trekking camps, boating, entertainment events etc., stimulating widespread curiosity about life. Join swimming, dance, music, karate, gardening, yoga classes and engage yourself in social and sports activities.     Choose and do interesting things every day to broaden your identity.   For heaven’s sake, do not hibernate and disintegrate.

Melody of music is magical.   It gives wings to the mind and heals the nervous system. It inspires, elevates, intoxicates your feelings and dissolves your blues by triggering the pleasure centers of your brain. Your toes and fingers start to tap and soon your body is out of your control bursting into a crazy,  freestyle aerobic dance. Time stands still. Your mind and body are totally refreshed with its impact and your spirits soar high. Bhajans also awaken and ignite positive vibrations. Enjoy that exhilarating experience.

      

     Do not get entangled in arguments, trying to prove your intelligence. Each one clings to his own intelligent point of view. Arguments end up in an angry exchange of mutual ignorance. Even the tone of voice and body language creates conflict. None is happy in this grumpy process of wrong matching. Agree to disagree is the best and pleasant option.  Better distance yourself, if you cannot get along with them. Listen and learn new things. You learn a lot more by listening than telling them what you know. Orbit around positive persons who lift you up and cheer. Do not dislike, hate or hurt others for any reason whatsoever.

Stop criticizing everything. It reveals your own misplaced anger or unhappiness. Think before you blurt out.  Maturity is understanding the views and feelings of others. Do not curse and grumble. It takes you nowhere.   Be grateful for everything you already have.  Life is not a fair deal for anyone.  Do not worry about tomorrow and ruin today’s peace.    Do not blame others for your misfortune. Accept your faulty moves, own it, take charge and handle it. Forgive others and unburden your pain, forever. Delete them from your memory.    Do not pamper negative thoughts and drown yourself in depression. You are poisoning your mind and body.   Get out of your room, house and street and meet the vibrant world outside. It is the best and guaranteed formula, to destress and dismiss the gloomy mindset. It is rewarding. Try this small step and you will find instant relief.

Act and confront the challenges facing you.  Procrastination triggers anxiety and tension, aggravating the issue. Prepare, plan  and plunge into it confidently.  Pranayama and meditation calm your mind, showing the way for the next step. Practice it daily. It helps a lot.

Comparison is the thief of joy.   Never compare your life and achievements with others and sulk. You are not in a race and need not prove anything to anybody. Everything is temporary.  If the going is good, enjoy it. If the going is tough, wait for the change.   

        

      What makes you happy ? Be clear about it, by identifying and focusing on it.  Don’t expect or depend on others, to make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy, nobody else.  Accept people as they are. Do not nurture any expectation or benefit from their relationship.  Give all you want, without expecting anything in return. Throw away useless and unwanted things irrespective of its cost. It has lost its value for you.

And whatever you do, do for your own peace of mind and do not seek or expect an approval from others.  Remember material things give you only comfort or confidence, but not happiness. Happiness is your own unique pursuit. Make sure what you want is exactly what you need.         

Your own sense of a personal identity is a myth. You are a mystery to yourself. Just look at the mirror and ask, " Do you know who I am ? ".  You will find it ridiculous. What you think you are, is not what others think you are. Your identity is always an issue at every stage in your life, at home or outside.  If you cross a decade, your orientation changes. Your knowledge is now obsolete, and you need to transcend to the next level, just as you climb the stairs to reach higher stages. You abandon the 6th level to reach the 7th.  Clinging to earlier knowledge is not the way to understand life. Free yourself from its bondage and move ahead. Discover your tools, typewriter, computer, camera, bat-ball, painting brush etc., and make your mark visible.   Keep celebrating every day.

You are unique.  You are yourself. You are the outcome of your thoughts and deeds of yesterday. Your present thoughts of today, will build your life of tomorrow. The epicenter of everything is your mindset. Employ it judiciously for your peaceful progress.  Make sure the path you choose to walk aligns with your own insight and craving.     Make your choice and when the chance comes, change for the better. Your life is what you create for yourself.

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 96      COINCIDENCES
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WORLD is full of amazing coincidences that shake our head in sheer astonishment and delight.  It makes us wonder how the universe functions with its own mystic and significant logic.

Often the small forgotten bits of memories resting patiently for years, surface suddenly to get connected with the present, and play its designated game. To explain the amazing ways of coincidence, let me rewind my memory and go back to the British days of erstwhile Thirties.   My grandfather was leading a well settled life in a village in south India, looking after his vast agricultural lands, producing rice, sugarcane, fruits, vegetables and coconut trees. He was also well educated and was one among the very few who can read and write English, quite an achievement in those days.  His son, my father, completed his graduation in a nearby city and opted to look after the lands, instead of working under British rulers.  The patriotic fervor and sparks of the freedom movement under Mahatma Gandhi was igniting the atmosphere.    Besides, “ Why should we serve under someone for a salary ?” was also a point of prestige.  People belonging to that generation were prone to be quite prestige-minded and averse to work under others for salary. It was quite demeaning.

Grandfather used to read English newspaper every day to keep in touch with the freedom movement and to improve his world-wise knowledge.  He had an arrangement with the postman who used to bring the newspaper every day from the town.  My father would also read the same later about the freedom movement and current affairs.  Another graduate and class-mate of my father, from the nearby village, used to send his son Chandran to borrow the newspaper, one or two days later.  Chandran used to visit in the evening in his cycle, to collect the old newspaper and carry home and return it next day, to borrow the subsequent issues. This cyclical arrangement was going on every day and as a child I have witnessed this daily errand.  Sometimes prominent leaders and freedom fighters used to visit our places to enthuse awareness of the ongoing freedom struggle.  My father used to join their activities in the early Forties.

FIVE DECADES LATER, when I was working in a big establishment in Maharashtra, my father, who was now quite old, came to stay with us. It was the first time he must have moved away from his native place in Tamil Nadu to distant Maharashtra. Anyway, we were living in a Tamil dominated locality and he used to visit the nearby temple and spend maximum time attending and participating in the programs there. It was a blessing in disguise as it suited his age and interests. He started performing pujas and other religious rituals, as a service to the temple.  He picked up friendship with many visitors of his age group, exchanging personal details etc., and gathering more acquaintances.  This innocuous habit of unfastened talk accidentally resulted in getting connected to a person from his own village in South India.  Who else it was, other than Chandran himself, who used to visit daily for collecting newspaper at his village long ago. It was a thrilling day for my father to meet him after almost four decades in a far-off place.  The mystic ways of Time and Space connected the two of them once again.  He came home excitedly and explained the incident and I was able to recollect my childhood and the daily event of his errand of collecting newspapers. It was quite astonishing to get connected this way.

         

 He brought him home on a Sunday and introduced him to me.   “This is Chandran from our village who was visiting our house daily, when you were a small boy.“

 What a surprise  !!!    It was a moment of unbelievable surprise for me.  I knew him already !! . Yes,  this Chandran was working in my office and I knew him for many years  !!.   I never knew he was the same boy who used to visit daily for the newspaper.  It was such a thrilling moment for all of us to go through this amazing coincidence of meeting once again at a far-off place, after so many years.   Another instance of the mystic ways of Time and Space.   This time all the three of us were involved in the experience.

It was unbelievable that such an amazing get together was possible where the same individuals would meet again providentially under different set up, in a far off place and would be able to correlate with each other, after recognition.  My wife, mother and sons were wonder struck with this incredulous meeting.  My father was excited with the delightful way the universe functions.

I became more friendly than usual with Chandran in my office after this incident.  Chandran was a regular visitor to the temple near my house and on the next occasion, when he visited our house we were able to exchange more details about our family.  I introduced my son who had completed his graduation and now employed in an IT company in the same city. IT was a new trend in the employment sector during the Eighties and I was quite anxious about its prospects.

Chandran was eager to know the name of the IT company where my son was working and when he was told he was astonished because it was the same company in which his son was also working. 

“ You know Ramesh, Systems Analyst,  he is my son ".  Chandran was excited to inform us. My son was astonished beyond his imagination. He could not believe that this magic jinx was continuing to chase us aggressively through every generation.  I could not believe what was getting revealed stage by stage. My son was always mentioning about Ramesh and how they were getting along in their new enterprise in expanding data processing work in various fields in Maharashtra.

 “ Ramesh is your son “ I exclaimed.  “ My son used to discuss about him every day and how the IT work was spreading gradually in this city, due to their efforts.. I never knew. It is fantastic, unbelievable coincidence” Everything was already in the set up without our knowledge and awareness, until the lid blew off coincidentally. This time all the five of us merged together in this mystic spell. We were in a daze.

Anyway, to sum it up, it has been there always, only to strike like a flash of lightening, at a chosen moment and place,   making us wonder about the transcendental laws of the Universe. It discloses what exactly was not known, by exposing the connection at the right moment, thereby releasing the struggling souls.

 The world is so unpredictable, and we are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence. We strain and struggle without knowing each other, despite being in the right place. 

                        GOD ONLY KNOWS, 
      THE RIGHT TIME TO REVEAL THE CONNECTION.

 
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95            THEY      ALSO     SERVE 
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It was a grand family get together at Madurai when all the brothers arrived with their family from Delhi, Mumbai and Jaipur. It was an exciting week for the brothers to update their present career-status and recollect their childhood days, about their teachers, school friends, games played, etc., Memories of adolescent days excited their spirits, opening the flood gates, leading to endless exchanges of anecdotes.

“You remember Seshatri.. Our neighbor boy, very funny and mischievous fellow, always full of pranks. One night he covered his head with a towel and came to our door like a beggar and begged for food, standing in a dark corner of our gate.  Our mother who was waiting for the usual beggar, brought the food and gave it to him.  The naughty Seshatri removed the towel and started laughing hysterically having tricked her successfully. Our mother was scared and started shivering at this bizarre event. She could not believe that it was Seshatri and not the regular beggar. He did it so well that she mistook him for the real beggar.”  Arjun recalled that event.

“ Yes. ..yes..... You know she chided him later saying that she will inform his father who will surely  throw him out of the house and he may have to really start begging every day.”  Seshatri got frightened and cried, requesting her not to complain.  

“ Do you know, He is now in Trichy as HRD Officer in BH0 where I met him by chance during a meeting there.  Very funny fellow even today. He has not changed at all. He took me aside and said ‘ I am Seshatri.  My wife is Savitri.  My daughter is Gayatri, House No 3, Block No.3 and we are in  3chy”  Arvind recalled his chance meeting, with great amusement,

“You remember Sairam, that crazy fellow, who used to spend the whole evening “monkey-pedaling’ his father’s cycle, orbiting our street endlessly.  People used to look around in all directions before stepping out in the street, scared of his erratic cycling feats. ”

“ Yes. you know once he drove the front wheel of his cycle between the legs of the temple priest and turned the wheel quite late, as if to avoid him.  The priest sprawled down with all his puja items and sullied his person, making him to go back and take a bath to purify himself. His father thrashed him black and blue that night.  Poor fellow.”

 “ Yes.  Do you remember Seenu ?  He used to take me to the hotel where his father was working, and we used to eat as many idlies as we wanted.   FREE..  Very nice fellow.” Hari recalled with gratitude. 

“ Oh.. that boy with a big head.  I remember. He was the only one with a bulky head in our town. Quite an unusual shape. He was not mixing with any of us, because of that, I suppose. Very passive, slow and quiet.” 

“ I think his father was a cook there.. He used to bring the dishes from the hotel for their lunch at home, every day.”  Arvind added

“Oh. What wonderful days. You remember, Ganesh who got a whistle and went on blowing it day and night for months together, irritating everyone.  Real head-ache for all. I think somebody stole it finally and threw it in the well, once and for all.  Good riddance.”  A look of relief descended on his face when recalling this, after so many decades.

 “ We do not know where are these friends now. I have been roaming around familiar haunts and could not find any of them in this town. We are ourselves scattered all over India, becoming strangers in our own home town. It was sheer accident that I came across Seshatri, quite a fluke.”  Arvind said.

“I feel like going to our favorite hotel in South street and enjoy the taste of ‘Masal vada.  It is ages since I ate the real vada. North Indians do not know how to make it”.

“Yes.  I also want to taste idly with coconut chutney. We don’t get such tasty dishes anywhere in Nagpur.”

“ Hey… I owe you all a grand party on my promotion as Deputy GM. Come on, let us go and celebrate”.   Arjun announced.

All the brothers reached the hotel which was still in the same spot, in a renewed structure. The ambience was quite modern as against what was instilled in their memory. A server came promptly when they settled down.

 “ Masal vada chutney  ” beamed  Arvind

“ Rawa Masala Dosa “  ordered Arjun

 “Idly sambar with coconut chutney “ was Hari’s choice.

The server noted the details and placed water cups on the table and proceeded to the next table.  Arvind was staring at the server with a queer look and exclaimed.

“ Did you notice that server ? ”

“ Yes.  What is the matter?  anything wrong?” asked others.

“ No.  See his head, exactly like our Seenu “

“ Yes.  Almost like that. Very strange.  Such persons are unique and very rare to find. ”

“ I wonder whether he is the same person.. Let me try “ Arjun ventured. Other brothers were slightly apprehensive.

When the waiter was crossing their table, Arjun called “ Seenu" without looking at him at all, as a precaution. The server was obviously disturbed at this call and looked here and there anxiously. It was now obvious that he was the one… the long-awaited prodigal one. Since no one appeared familiar, the server moved further to another table. When called “ SEENU “ for the second time, he identified  and came to their table.

“Sir.. Did you call me ? “  He enquired with an inexplicable question mark in his wrinkled face.

” Where is your sister, Vasanthi ?”  Arvind asked quietly, just to double-check the identity of Seenu.

“ Sir.  She is married and lives in Chennai. Now tell me how you know all this.  Who you are ? Sir”.  Seenu was now very tense. All the brothers were excited to discover one of their childhood companions.

“ I am Arjun. And this is Arvind “   declared proudly.

Seenu was perplexed, struggling to make out who they were.

“ And this is Hari “ Arjun prompted hopefully.

The word “ H A R I” brought a flash of brightness in his face. He moved near Hari and stared at him in disbelief. His wrinkled face got further wrinkled looking at his bosom friend of childhood days.  ”You are Hari”  he exclaimed and his eyes opened wide surging out of his wrinkles.  He was awestruck and unable to react to the extraordinary situation.  Inexplicably, the magical moment suddenly reversed to a distressing one. He was beginning to feel timid and squeamish in their presence. The contrast between them was colossal.  The pathos of the moment and encounter was distressing as it exposed his life to unattained vistas. He stood there feeling broken and small, his self-worth totally mutilated.

 “ Seenu.. I remember.. you used to bring me to this hotel and we used to eat as many idlies as we wanted..”  Hari tried to revive his memory and boost his morale. A look of pride swept over his wrinkled face, unconsciously, just for a moment.  There was a slight trace of a smile at the corner of his lips.   He appeared to gather his composure.

 “You were all senior to me and did not mix with me. “ 

He tried to justify his failure to recognize them.  He gazed at each one of them as if to bridge the time-gap and gauge the resultant disharmony in status. An invisible fence appeared in front of him, something to shield the joy or pain of that moment.

    “  I was not smart like all of you.        Not clever enough  ..             My father got me this job.  …  somehow…  ”

Seenu was mumbling and struggling to deal with the situation. His sluggish brain was trying to defend a misdeed not attributed to him. He was unable to rejoice as the stark reality unsettled his poise. He found no common ground other than childhood friendship, to interact further.   For the first time in his life, he became sensitive to virtual reality.

“ Server.. Server “. Customers were shouting….

“ Sorry. The customers are calling me. “  He left in a hurry as if waiting for this break. He vanished from their sight.   He must have lost his pride and composure after he was found.  He did not turn up at all, until the brothers left the hotel.  

 Seenu disappeared from their world, as suddenly as he appeared, like a flash of lightening in the sky. Bereft of inspiration to expand and do glamorous things, like his erstwhile friends, he had made his peace with God and that alone mattered to him, doing small and simple things with great satisfaction.  It is great to expand and succeed by clever means, deriving a false sense of happiness, by overtaking or eliminating others on their way.  It is greater, still,  to refrain from the same belief system, like the  CALM, SERENE BOTTOM of the ocean, in contrast to the  TURBULENT, STORMY TOP SURFACE of the same ocean.        The choice was his. 

THEY ALSO SERVE WHO ONLY STAND AND WAIT.. MILTON

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94                       V E R T I G O
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            The old man woke up early in the morning as usual and found himself in trouble.  He was not able to move his head, when he tried to get up from his bed. A very stiff neck, he thought.   He was wriggling and trying his best to raise his head.  It was now a dead weight.  His wife woke up and found him struggling to get up.  “ I am feeling dizzy ”   he murmured.  She got up with a start and tried to help him get up.  “ Move your head slowly.. Take it easy.. The giddiness will go away slowly ” she said.   It was a trying time for the old man to overcome the giddiness, which was aggravating,  the more and more he tried to get up. Gradually he was able to slowly raise his head and get up to a sitting position.  His wife was slightly relieved. “ I think you have a severe cold ” she said after observing the nasal tone of  his voice.  “The phlegm has reached your brain” she commented and went to the kitchen and started boiling water. She filled it in the Rubber bag and gave it to him. He lay down and used it as pillow to warm his head and thereby got some relief.  Slowly he started walking around the bed and found himself staggering. The triggered   feeling of dizziness was getting intense by walking, standing up or moving his head up, down or sideways, creating the false feeling that he or his surroundings were spinning or moving.  It was sometimes so sudden and severe that he had to sit or lie down to avoid a fall.  It was time to consult their Doctor.

            The Doctor came and after preliminary check-up,  gave some medicine for indigestion and acidity. When asked, he explained that the reasons for dizziness are many.  Dizzy spells are caused by the disease of cerebellum, eye, inner ear problems etc.  The sense of balance depends on the combined input from the various parts of our sensory system. These include our eyes which help us to determine where our body is in the space and how it's moving around.  Sensory nerves send messages to our brain about our body movements and positions.  The sensors housed in the inner ear, help and detect gravity and front-and-back motion. Similarly, if you're active in hot weather, or if you don't drink enough fluids, you may feel dizzy from overheating or from dehydration. This becomes acute if you happen to take certain heart medications also. The decrease in blood flow to the brain when you get up suddenly causes light-headedness.  Mild vertigo usually lasts no longer than a week or two. More severe vertigo can last several weeks.  If you've experienced dizziness before, you're more likely to get dizzy in the future. Dizziness is one of the more common reasons for the visits of my patients. Treatment of dizziness depends on the cause and the symptoms.   But dizziness rarely signals a life-threatening condition, he clarified.  The old man began to feel better after hearing the exhaustive clarification by his Doctor.

            Anyway,  the medication did not appear to improve the situation and the old man continued to feel dizzy,   as if he has been reincarnated as a “merry-go-round ".

            The remarks of the Doctor about past episodes of dizziness, reminded him of a similar incident in his office almost 3 decades ago,  when he fainted while playing a table tennis match ....  may be  due to exhaustion, dehydration etc.,   He was hurried in an ambulance to Hospital where he recovered from his dizziness, but had to go through all the tests. He was discharged as “ok” but advised to take MRI scan of head as a precautionary measure.  His wife continued to  insist on MRI scan, which he went through reluctantly at  a later date.  It also turned out to be “clear & ok”.   It was quite long ago.

            His friends started visiting his house to find out what went wrong.  Swamy told him “ You are an old car,  with all the parts gradually wearing out. These things are inevitable in old age. Be prepared and take it easy. You have to go through these things in life.”  Quite a mature and philosophical advice. The old man was now reconciled to receive such advice, for no fault of his.  

             Maskar’s  was an  ‘Ayurvedic‘ advice  “You are having too much cold and cough.. Take Sitopaladi churna..  It will relieve the congestion in your head. You will be alright in two days. ”   This suggestion gave him some hope for relief.

            “  I have been eating more biscuits, nowadays.  Is it ok ?”  The anxious old man ventured to ask, after a detailed self analysis of his daily routine.  “ No biscuits. ” warned his friend,  “Not even bread.. because of its porous and sponge content,  they cause acidity and gas.  You may have to drink lot of water .. better  avoid it ”.

            The moment he left, his wife was able to retrieve the ‘churna’  from her stock of medicines and immediately made a decoction for him to drink.

            Joshi was very critical about addiction to Mobile applications,  browsing internet in laptops and watching TV serials. Sitting before these tools for hours together, damages our spinal cord, neck muscles and nervous system, leading to chronic ailments.

            The President of the Society who believed in Acupuncture and Yoga gave a few demos of massage. He took the old man’s hand and pressed the gaps between fingers for about half an hour, looking anxiously at his face for any symptoms of relief.  A few neck exercises were explained for his benefit,  besides some “mudras”...  “Keep calm.. Breathe deeply ” was the final words of advice when he left.

            “ Over thinking leads to negative thoughts.  Slow down a little and do not take life so seriously.  Avoid tension and stress from day to day events.   Control only what you can.  Relax and  listen to music, pray,  meditate etc.,”  The flow of advices and guidance continued daily.

            The old lady was just a couple of years younger than him.  The“ dizzy episode ” cast a spell on her daily activity to new levels of energy, to take care of her husband. Her visits to the temple increased in frequency.  Her prayers and meditation inside her house gathered momentum.  All the suggestions and advice were put into use and the old man became a  ‘ sitting duck’  for all experiments.

            On the third day,  she woke up with a start and searched for the “Long lasting medicated pain relieving liquid” given by her son while in   Singapore, when they visited him last year.  It was a pain reliever. But she opened it and started rolling it over the senile shoulders and neck of her ailing husband, allowing the fluid to seep deep into his skin.  A look of relief beamed and it appeared to work wonders.  The shoulder blades and the connecting nerves reacted favourably, giving him a sense of relief and hope and his wife was thrilled to discover the solution.

            On the seventh day, the old man was found walking briskly as usual in the streets, acknowledging the usual greetings of his surprised friends. Swami and Joshi greeted him and Maskar inquired about the ‘churna’ effect. The President signaled with a ‘mudra’ sign. The old man acknowledged all the well wishers with gratitude.  Either anyone or all of them joined together deserved the credit for his recovery. They say, you can do anything, but not everything.  But the old lady did ‘ everything’ and it worked.  She deserved all the credit for his recovery from the dizzy spell. The old man was blessed to ‘ feel connected ’ with so much support and love from friends and family.   All is well that ends well.  He was now well. That is all that matters. Those dizzy moments are now part of his memory.

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93      RIGHT     OR    WRONG
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He was rich and getting rich day by day.  His expertise in growing rich was taking him to greater heights.  He focused his concentration in the art of multiplying money by any method, hook or crook. His success formula was built on certain calculative parameters which gave him 'sure-shot' results. His staff was amazed at his genius and luck.  His calculations never went wrong and he put his faith on that, not excluding even minor aspects of variation. He was confident, proud and firm in his calculations.

One day he was inspired to pay his respects and gratitude to the Almighty for all the benevolence and kindness bestowed on him so far. He decided to  offer 1000 plantains “kelas” of superior quality to the temple on the top of the hill in a far off pilgrim center. He called his Accountant and ordered him  to buy the fruits ( exactly 1000) and take it to the temple God and offer them as “abisheka” and inform the temple priest also.

On an auspicious day the Accountant left by car to the temple with 1000 fruits for the offering. It was quite a long and tedious journey.  On the way the Accountant found an aged man lying unconscious in the middle of the lonely road.  The pious Accountant stopped the car to find out what was the matter. The old man had fainted obviously due to hunger.  The sympathetic Accountant  had nothing else to give and feed the starving old man except the fruits he was taking to the temple. He took one “kela” and tried to feed him.  Fortunately the old man able to eat it. The Accountant gave one more to him and he was able to gulp it. The Accountant fed him with two more “kelas” and the old man was able to get up and sit.  A look of relief appeared in his face.  The Accountant was quite happy and relieved at the recovery of the old man.  As he was getting late to reach the temple in time, he gave him two more “kelas” and bid him good bye as he was in a hurry.  The old man thanked him  quite profusely for the timely noble deed.

The Accountant was able to get the “abishek” performed in the temple and took rest for some time and then began his return journey in the night so that he would be back to his boss by morning.

That night, the rich man had a dream.  The Lord of the hills appeared in his dream and appreciated him for the six “kelas” offered.  The rich man was thrilled for a moment when the GOD appeared in his dreams, accepting his offerings. But he got up alarmed, at the acknowledgement of only six “kelas” when he had already sent 1000 through the Accountant.  The rich man was so upset speculating about what happened to the rest of the “kelas”. He thought that the Accountantt whom he considered as very reliable, must have  misappropriated and en-cashed the fruits. The ever calculating rich-man was now determined to discipline the Accountant.  He instructed the watchman at the gate to inform him the moment the Accountant arrived.

The Accountant reached the gate and the boss who was informed came rushing at him.   The Accountant with a beaming face informed the boss very happily that the “abishek” was duly performed satisfactorily.  The well informed boss stared at him for a long time and finally put one question to the Accountant.  “ How many fruits were offered to the God as “abishek ? “

 The Accountant was startled at this unexpected question.  Being an Accountant, he was quick to recall in his mind the figure of 1000 as the answer. But the question appeared to be strange and suspicious at this moment.  He could not understand why the number of fruits offered became questionable. Suddenly he recalled the incident at the roadside about the unconscious hungry old man.  But that was in a lonely road and nobody else was present, when he offered the “kelas”.  There was no driver also as witness to the event, as he was himself driving the car.  Even the priest was mechanically offering the fruits and it was impossible for him to count the “kelas” also while reciting the mantras.  The Accountant was aware of the meticulous ways of his boss who would not tolerate even a negligible variation from carrying out of his instructions. He was totally confused and funky and did not dare to upset him.

After analysing the situation to the best of his ability and experience, the Accountant answered confidently “ all the 1000 "kelas" Sir "

The all-knowing boss snarled at him “ You are a cheat. I cannot rely on you anymore.  You are dismissed from today..  You can get out.”

Quite an unexpected anti climax after an enriching pilgrimage.

WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THIS STORY....?

WHO IS RIGHT ?  WHO IS WRONG ?

Never judge someone, without knowing all facts

When money speaks, truth keeps silent

Right is right...Wrong is wrong

Your opinion is not my reality
HELPING HANDS ARE HOLIER THAN PRAYING LIPS

   How do you know right from wrong ?

  Everyone is different

Wrong person came at the right time

Right person came at the wrong time

 To do a GREAT RIGHT, you can do a little wrong

Right and wrong depends on the situation

I am right in my own way and wrong in someone else’s

Sometimes things have to go wrong, in order to go right

Sometimes the right thing for you, is a wrong thing for others

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92           I    AM    ALIVE
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        The dull and dreary day to day life of the octogenarian  was electrified to a frenzy of activity in the month of  November when a simple message came in his mobile.  

“Dear Pensioner,     Now a gentle reminder for action to submit your Life certificate at your Pension paying Bank  “

          It was like a lightening  in the dark sky,  as though a new life was ahead of him.  He got into a sudden burst of activity, to the utter surprise of his family members. He recalled the latest requirements of proving to the paying Bank that he is alive, still kicking around and not dead or written off.   At least someone is still interested in him.  Even though it is an annual exercise, the times have changed during the last two decades since his retirement.  Modern technology has introduced new ways of proving that he is still alive.  He was keeping himself in touch with modern times.

          Next day he was at the Bank with all the documents like Aadar card, PANCARD ,Voter card,  Pension Pass book, Pension Payment order, Xerox copies thereof,  His wife was adamant to escort him as she was afraid of his age and his ailments.  By the time they reached the Bank, a large crowd of old pensioners accompanied by their family members were already thronging at the gates, Tokens were being  issued to each pensioner to discipline the crowd and he was able to get his Token marked 49 and joined the queue.

         

          The youngster at the Computer was quite cheerful in handling the old pensioners, many of whom were weak, fragile,  unsteady, unable to see, hear,  sit or stand.  The octogenarian managed to get a seat and started observing the proceedings.

          Token 17 was called.

 “ You appear too young for a pensioner

             No I am not a pensioner.  I came to inquire about…...

 Don’t waste my time.   Go to Second floor for Inquiry....      

           Next..

Are you from State Govt ?  Central Govt ?  Defence, Private.. LIC, Bank or company?  No answer.  She was deaf….

           Next,

You have entered the landline phone number. What is your mobile number?  Where is your mobile ?  Now go and get your mobile. I have to feed the OTP from your mobile into the software….

           Next.

Put your right thumb on this device for imprint checking. Try forefinger.. left thumb.. there are no prints visible in your fingers. Please wait out for some time….. 

          Next.

Wheel chair pensioner.. take this device and press her finger.. Where is her mobile….  What is the OTP…..

          Next

Pension not credited for 4 months.. go to the Manager and complain..

          Next 

Lost your Adar card.. don’t have Xerox copy….don’t remember the number.. Go to NSDL and get it….

     Next..   Pensioner is in Hospital.. OMG… what can I do.         

         Next ..  “ Whose mobile is this ? Come Take it ..”

The octogenarian was alert,  observing all events and felt reassured of his well prepared trip. Those waiting in the hall were restless, murmuring and grumbling in whispers.

“  It is already two hours gone. When will my turn come ?”

”  I forgot to bring my tablets. I am not feeling well”

“  I am unable sit any longer, want to lie down”

“  Where is the rest room ?”

“  He should call old people first and clear them early”

The youngster heard this and said “ All are old here.. except me.. We go in serial order of the Token number.. Please keep silence..”   Half the crowd became quiet immediately and the rest were of course deaf.

                             “””  Token 49   “””

He woke up suddenly and his wife was shaking his body.

“  They are calling you…Wake up.. You start sleeping everywhere. This is not your house.   Get  up…  ”

He gathered his wits and presented himself at the desk, the OTP came in his mobile, Aadar number linked his pension account and the device scanned his finger prints.  Within seconds,   a  Certificate came out of the printer.

                    HE WAS CERTIFIED AS ALIVE.

A look of satisfaction and pride pervaded the face of the octogenarian, who proved himself alive whenever  the occasion demanded.

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91        SOUL  OF  THE  MATTER
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King Chitraketu had many wives but unhappy for want of a son to inherit the wealth and kingdom. As the King was inconsolable, a sympathetic Rishi offered “Prasad” to the King asking him to give to his favorite queen to realize his wish. He warned that the child would bring more misery to him than happiness. The King was desperate and did not mind it. A son was born in due course. The King and the citizens rejoiced the event with countrywide celebrations for months together. The boy prince was brought up with great care and attention. Meanwhile the other queens were distressed at their misfortune  of having lost the affection of the King, leading to envy and hatred towards the boy prince.   One day, the boy prince was found dead shocking the mother, King and the entire country with grief. The Queen wept uncontrollably and the King was overwhelmed and agitated with grief. They cursed, cried and prayed for the return of the child back to life. The Rishi came to know of the pitiable condition of the King and came to console and pacify him. All the advice and explanation bore no fruit as the King was totally absorbed in the ‘maya’ of material world of attachments, family, relationships etc., As the King did not comprehend the “transcendental knowledge” exhorted to him, the Rishi had no option but to perform a miracle, to make him realize it in a practical manner. By his mystic power he brought back the soul of the dead boy prince, which illuminated the place and entered the body, to the astonishment of everyone present.. The boy prince came to life and opened his eyes. The jubilant mother embraced the child and the King danced with joy. The revived boy looked at them like a stranger wondering what was happening around and asked “ Who are you ?  What is the matter ?”   The startled King and Queen said “ I am your father.. She is your mother.. Don’t you know” The boy disowned them as his parents and began to speak not as prince but as a liberated soul.

 “ I the living entity,soul,  transmigrate from one body of the species to another, from time immemorial, with innumerable fathers and mothers, having no true relationships with any of them, in this journey.  I the living entity am eternal and wander through the universe, getting trapped in the cycle of reincarnations induced by the illusions of the material world, entering into various desired bodies to satiate myself. The process of transmigration continues until I am liberated from material existence.  When spiritual wisdom dawns to disentangle, I return to the original home in the spiritual world of the GODHEAD. ”

 After this extra-ordinary event, the living entity left the body suddenly and the boy prince fell down lifeless, astonishing everyone present. The shock and jolt of the event shattered their illusions and enabled them to realise and transcend the shackles of worldly attachments. 

Attachment is the intensity of feelings towards a single fragment in exclusion of all the rest. Detachment is not the absence of feelings, but to acknowledge all, without owning any of it.

The heart needs more time to accept what the mind knows.

The soul is the driving force, essence of life; elemental life principle. The soul inhabits different bodies at different spells of time.  With the type of biological body one gets, the souls plays many roles with that body and also create another body to continue the game.  The body is always inert and becomes alive and active because of the living force within, called soul. It is the active force that moves the body.  The body is only an instrument like a TV for example, which comes alive with displays when a button is pressed. The mystery behind this program is an unresolved, eternal puzzle. The soul does not exist in a specific place, geographically. It is everywhere, yet nowhere in the body. It is still a mystery how the soul leaves the body, for it cannot be shown by documentary proof.

The evolution of intelligence, skills, art etc., and their consistent progress to higher levels are as a result of the repetitive efforts of the souls coming back to improve and enhance their left-over performances.  Infant prodigies are standing examples. Dreams and out of body experiences also deal with the earlier incarnations. . We are all pure spirit souls locked up in a body, getting earthly identities based on parents, geography, language, genetics, religion, colour and other parameters. The entrapped living entity finds no way to free itself from the network of its own activities. The body changes from baby to old age but the person inside remains the same, unchanged…..

  

        I have been here many times before… I have always existed. My likes, dislikes, relationships, talents, expertise, mission, dreams, sense of fulfillment are remotely connected to the many unfulfilled lives led earlier.
        You think this is the first time I have known you. But I have known you for the past several lives and that is why you are here with me now.

        You have forgotten that in the past life, You wanted to be with me and to live in my company.You do not know that you prayed for that  and that is now fulfilled.

            The SOUL is not slain, when the body is slain…   Baghwat Gita

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90         D I L E M M A
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The small town was popular because of an ancient temple which attracted many visitors. It was a highly revered temple because of its well known divine powers, of fulfilling the wishes and prayers of the devotees. The devotees belonged to many generations of worshipers.

Due to constant visits of devotees, the ancient temple was now in a highly dilapidated condition. The Trustees were able to do some patch work every now and then and keep the structure in tact as far as possible. As it was almost getting “ beyond repairs ” stage, requests for improving the situation gained momentum and the Trustees were able to arrange a General Body Meeting of members for finding a solution.

          Four resolutions were put up for approval.

1. Construct a new temple. It was passed unanimously by the enthusiastic crowd of members as a befitting tribute to an ancient temple. The entire crowd was excited and approved it whole heartedly as mark of devotion and gratitude.

2. Use the same materials for reconstruction. As a prudent financial decision this resolution was welcomed with cheers. The brilliance of the idea was nothing but heaven-sent blessings from the deity. It was also passed unanimously.

3. Completion within a period of twelve months, was another brilliant suggestion carried away unopposed. The members were truly pleased that the future of the temple was now getting grandiose and holier for the devotees. The trustees confirmed availability of sufficient funds for the purpose.

4. The last was the oldest priest who explained in detail how the ancient temple was a source of mystical and celestial powers emanating from the deity and its structures for many generations in the past. He also explained from old records and memoirs how powerful was the history of the temple. He cautioned that nothing should therefore be done to disturb the inherent source of power of the deity and the temple. He even warned that any disturbance in the existing “ status quo ” would result in unpredictable repercussions to the devotees and also the town. It would amount to defiling the sacred site and the backlash could be catastrophic. Demolition of the ancient structure should therefore be avoided, was the last resolution proposed by him. The startled members agreed with utmost religious obedience and fervor. The members were carried away by the erudite knowledge of the priest and the resolution was passed with great humility and devotion. The meeting concluded after vote of thanks by the secretary .

You will now realize how the last resolution turned out to be the deadlock for implementation of the first three resolutions, to overcome a simple and genuine problem. The enigmatic situation has arisen due to an uncomfortable feeling of tension, arising from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time. Many times we come across such situations of a dilemma in the course of our life. This is a nebulous and hesitant state in which each member of a family or group prefers to wait for some other member to take action, as the risk of a wrong decision is frightening…. Analysis paralysis..

When you are in a desperate condition, needing urgent action to redeem yourself from the distress, the only dependable option is to demolish and reconstruct your course of life. It is the only choice for turning a new leaf. The status quo would take you nowhere. All other beliefs, fears and doubts would play the villain in your life, to drag you further into distress.

     Decision-making is therefore, a process of identifying and choosing alternatives to arrive at a final choice, which may or may not prompt action. 

 

     Indecision may come from an instinctive hunch that there's more you need to know - which means it's time to learn everything you can about the pros and cons of each option and identify the best alternative for necessary action..

     The worst thing you can do is nothing.

     UNLESS YOU DEMOLISH YOUR PSYCHIC PROCESS, 

               YOU CANNOT RECONSTRUCT.

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89         LOST  AND  FOUND
_________________________________________________________________________

There was a knock on the door and the mother opened it to find a young man of her son's age standing outside.  She had seen him sometimes bringing her son in his motorcycle from office.

"   Is Raju at home,  I am his friend Seenu "
" Yes. come in.. be seated.. He is taking bath now and I will call him "

The mother invited and Seenu entered and sat down and Raju's mother brought him a glass of water  to drink.

" I have come to invite Raju for my birthday party tomorrow."
The mother was now quite happy to hear this good news  and began asking usual details about him.

" You are working in Raju's office...."  she enquired
" Yes. We are.... from the date of appointment..." He replied.
" Are you a native of this place Nagpur ? " she continued.
"  No, I am from Thanjavoor and got this job in Nagpur.."   Seenu said.

The mother was now very curious as she was also from Thanjavoor town and therefore tried to elicit some more details.

Seenu said his parents lived in West street opposite Vinayakar Temple and he studied in KSH school.

The mother of Raju was now excited as these details matched with her early life before her marriage. For the first time after coming to Nagpur she was able to meet someone from the same street of her native place.

 " What is your mother's name ? "   she ventured.

He said his mother's name was Indira.  

Her eyes widened in surprise and blurted out...
" Your father was owning a shop next to the temple? "
Seenu was surprised and said " Yes.. How do you know ? "

The excited mother said " Yes I know your mother. Indira and myself were close friends for many years and we studied together in KSH School.  After my marriage, whenever I came to Thanjavoor to visit my parents, I used to meet your mother in the temple every evening and then we lost touch with each other."  Her excitement was mounting. Meanwhile her son Raju who was hearing all this,  joined the conversation listening with wide eyes.

" Do you know..  I used to bring Raju with me and she used to bring you there in the evenings.  We used to spend an hour daily listening to bhajans or other programmes going on in the temple. It was our regular pastime. "

Raju and Seenu are colleagues in their office in Nagpur . They were stunned to come across their unknown childhood events, as revealed by the mother. This chance encounter of Seenu with Raju's mother disclosed such a delightful connection with the past. They have been friends for more than three years without knowing their antecedents.

" We used to be busy gossiping and both of you  would be running all over the place, playing and chasing each other. "

Raju and Seenu looked at each other in a strange manner, trying to recall and decipher those forgotten childhood days.  It was intriguing how they were not able to recognise each other all these days. Both were wondering how after almost two decades of seperation, they were able to meet once again, incognito, purely by chance, hundreds of miles away in North India.  Added to it, how strange it was that they were able to become close friends for the last three years, amongst a crowd of newly appointed youngsters, working together in a large Establishment.   Something very unusual and mystical. 
One in a million chance...

" Didn't you know that you were playmates two decades before ? " the excited mother questioned them in wonder. " If only you had been a little inquisitive, you would have stumbled on these things.."

Both of them looked nonchalant and felt a little bit censured.     They never knew it before.  Is it their fault ? Is it possible to recognise boys after twenty years when they are adults ?   Only dogs, elephants and dolphins are known to have that trait.  A vague old memory may not bring you back and connect with current reality. Anyway, it was a fact they did not recognise  each other. They are friends now but the discovery of their childhood intimacy was a pleasant surprise.

Seenu managed to blurt out something to overcome his awkward emotions. " My mother likes Raju very much and she forced me to go and personally invite him for the birthday "   Raju was also beginning to recall his feelings of the unusual warmth experienced by him during his visits to Seenu's house.

Seenu got up immediately saying   " I will have to rush home now and inform  my mother all about this ... and about you ...."

" Wait a minute.. Take a cup of coffee before leaving.." the mother pleaded. Senu was on his motorbike already. 
" I will, after telling my mother about you "

" Tell her Prayer Padma... She will recognise me.. "  the mother exclaimed,   recalling her school days when she was popular as the lead singer of the daily morning prayer.

Next day the birthday party was a roaring success with two beaming mothers and two friends, looking at each other,  like they have been " lost " for a thousand years and finally " found ".

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88                 ONE  HOUR
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    The teacher was upset with the growing noise in the classroom as it was nearing closing time of the school.   She shouted " silence".... " pin drop silence " and looked angrily everywhere to restore discipline in the classroom. She found Jeetu and asked him to get up.   She abruptly asked him to spell the word " hippopotamus". The bewildered boy stood there blinking and the classroom acquired a tense atmosphere.  " Yes,  come on.." she shouted and the boy was almost in tears.  Spelling test in an Algebra class....She was searching for the dreaded cane to strike a blow on his palm.   A very tense moment in the classroom.  Suddenly,  there was a shrill sound of the closing bell ringing. The children were waiting only for this blessed sound and all of them shrieked in joy,  jumped from their seats and ran towards the door.  The teacher also left hurriedly.

    " hay..Hippo "  shouted his friends as they shoved and elbowed each other out of their way towards the door.  Sriram was grinning from ear to ear mocking at him. Jeethu's nostrils flared up in anger. Soon Varun and his younger brother Vijay joined him near the gate. They were looking for Nadar who used to wait with his cycle to carry them back home. Nadar was not to be found.  They have  to walk all the way to their home. Jeethu was pushing his cycle which was taller than him. Jeethu said  "Come on. I will take your bags and also Vijai in my cycle to your home.. You follow me ". Varun happily agreed but Vijai would not. They walked together with the crowd of children and got dispersed gradually. Jeethu also departed soon  'monkey-pedelling'   his cycle.

" You should have gone with him,  with all our bags " said Varun.

" No. I will not go with him " groaned Vijai,  the younger one.

    Suman Teacher was going ahead of them. She was also living near their home. She used to keep a watch on Varun and Vijai as she knew their mother very well. If Nadar is absent, they made their way back home following, Jeethu, Sriram or Suman teacher.  If the boys do not turn up by 4 'o clock, the anxious mother would lock the house and go in search of them.

    On the way, Vijai looked at the big clock fixed on the red brick tower of the church.  It was showing 15 minutes to four.  They sat for a while on the small compound wall of the church, unburdening their heavy school bags.  Later,  just near their house, they found a crowd of people, behind the Hanuman temple, watching a monkey show. What a surprise chance to witness the monkey show.  Vijai was initially unwilling and recalled the instructions of mother not to loaf around or watch street shows on the way. They must reach home before 4 'o clock.  Anyway, the monkey show was too tempting to miss.   It was a life time chance.  They both squeezed themselves inside and got engrossed in the monkey show.  

    Time was running out and the anxious mother finally locked her house and came searching for them. She found on the way, Suman teacher buying vegetables  and enquired.  " Yes they were ahead of me and should have reached home by this time."  The worried mother was looking here and there and her roving eyes came across the crowd behind the Hanuman temple.  She rushed there and squeezed herself inside to find out what was the problem.

    Oh.. It was just a monkey show.  The monkey was going round with a stick dancing to a popular film song. The crowd was enjoying the hilarious show.  Only the mother was looking anxious and worried, searching for the errant boys.  Varun and Vijai suddenly saw a familiar figure behind the performing monkey, staring at them fiercely. They recognised her and froze.  The  roaring noise of the applauding crowd disintegrated slowly.

    Pin drop silence followed and the alarm bell rang.

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87        SELF    APPRAISAL
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        The old man staggered to his favorite resting place and soon got lost in reminiscences, rewinding memories of a long eventful life, counting his wins, losses, pleasures, griefs, disappointments, surprises and so on.  A sort of self appraisal involving his family, relatives, friends, colleagues and even strangers who played their crucial parts in his life,  though for a short while, leaving indelible memories and impacts in his life.   The mind is a bottomless store house of memory and the deeper he plunged, more and more treasures of the forgotten past came to his view.  As a teenager, he recalled crying with his friends on the last day while leaving college , unable to bear the inevitable separation.  Passing out from college did not mean to him that it included his friends also.  " Very boyish of me."  thought the old man, quite sympathetically.   All subsequent episodes in his life, be it sweet or sour, turned out to be mere kid stuff.  Even the joyful proud moments like passing High School examination, scoring distinction, getting a desired job in first attempt, placing the first salary at the feet of his grand mother and getting blessed by her, achieving success after  success in his carrier,  getting married,  arrival of the first baby, listening to his first spoken word, .....    All such ecstatic moments in his life appeared to be just a trivial matter today. They were mere short sequels passing out of his life.   They came for some purpose as visitors, made their momentous mark and left the scene.

        He started  recalling the troubled times which he had in plenty,  the spells of miseries, disappointments, frustrations, fears, griefs, shocks etc.,   He bore the brunt of it when it came to inflict him, causing shame or grief and sending him to dark corners to cry or pray in despair, all alone.  No matter how bad his heart was broken, the world did not stop for his grief.  Sometimes even near and dear ones hurt him once in a while, no matter how good he was.  Getting hurt was foolish of him,  causing avoidable anguish for a long time.  All his feelings were mere facade of self judgements. It was now apparent that all these episodes had some mystic part to play in his life.  May be his pride, ego and narcissism had something to do with it.  He endured and evolved himself.  Time molded and changed him worthier and sophisticated,  to become the person he was destined to be.

         The drama of life goes on.  The magic or trickery of these passing events or episodes played their own mystic roles to reveal his true identity, straighten out his own life and overcome his limitations. The riddles in life made him wiser today than yesterday, by teaching him through lessons of rewards and punishments. He understood all this now at his ripe old age.Worthy lessons are lived to be understood.  What was once a fiery wave has now realized itself as a temporary surge of a mere fragment of the ocean.

        KNOWING OTHERS IS WISDOM
     KNOWING SELF IS ENLIGHTENMENT...   LAO TZU


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 86              P S Y C H E

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The family was watching "ANIMALS" channel in the  TV.  A hungry tigress after delivering four cubs, was hunting for food.   Elsewhere in the same area, a deer after delivering a fawn was also grazing for food. The tigress chases and kills the deer, eats it and feeds the cubs also.  The tiger family is very happy. But the motherless fawn was now crying for its mother and for food.  A clever mixture of joy and misery for the viewers interest. The photography was excellent focusing  in slow motion of close up shots, on the hunger, chase, ferocity and the climax of all the animals involved.  It was a  routine jungle episode designed to disturb and create various emotions and questions in the minds of the four viewers.  

A brief silence was observed, followed by the fall out.

The father felt that what the tigress did was right, because the food was the right and only choice to satiate her hunger.  The tigress cannot eat grass... Nothing was therefore wrong and it was quite normal and nobody can help it.

The mother felt  that what the tigress did was wrong and also atrocious.. The docile deer did not do anything provocative and it was only searching for its own food. The tiger killed a hungry mother while eating.  Who will look after its child now  ?   What the tigress did was cruel,  unjustified, unpardonable etc.,

The worldly-wise and seasoned grandfather thought that what happened to both animals was normal.  In the jungle, the tiger is licensed to kill its prey for food.  What the tiger did was natural.  What happened to the deer was also natural and destined to happen, since both live in the same jungle. So there is no wrong done by anyone, even though the scene was highly disturbing to watch.

They all expressed their feelings and looked at the child as though expecting an answer. The naive and puerile adolescent child, not understanding the episode like his elders, laughed and ran away to play games with friends. The child was unruffled and undisturbed by the TV show and remained cheerful even after seeing the animal episode.  No entanglement at all.  

THINK  IT  OVER... 

What does this incident convey to us ?  Obviously the attitude of the child was the right one.   Right attitude only plays a crucial role in every phase of our life.    It is only when we grow up as adults that we get entangled with so many do's and don'ts, rights and wrongs.   We get mixed up and start muddling with all the events in our life.  The mind is messed up with very subtle and highly imponderable knots.   We start applying our pre-conceived norms and rules on every  situation.  We become cynical, getting embroiled or stressed unnecessarily.

What the father felt was outrageously repugnant to human feelings and an attempt to justify jungle life, notwithstanding the ghastly, revolting and gruesome episode relayed in the TV show.  At best, it was a  poor attempt to pacify the disturbed mind.

The mother was applying the right and wrong parameters in jungle life, where it has no relevance.   Our understanding of the subtleties of dharma or  the Criminal Procedure Code has no jurisdiction over forest animals  and the outrage and disdain over transgression thereof is misplaced. She was biased while speaking in anguish.  She was trying  to apply just and unjust parameters in a situation where it is not applicable..

The grandfather was quite judgemental in evaluating the pros and cons of both the sides,  playing  the role of  a judge or jury, analyzing the prosecution and defence submissions and remained neutral in the end, as if to mitigate or repress the emotional strain.

The root cause for the unwanted strain is therefore obvious in this case, viz.,  getting involved unnecessarily or unwittingly in extraneous matters. The stimulus created by external events or persons, which is beyond our control makes us react in a stressful way to counteract and control its effect.  What we should understand from this story is that so many things keep happening in this world. We cannot stop them from happening.    " Why they are happening. Whether it is right or wrong "  is not a matter that has to be resolved by us.  No power on this earth can do it, including the Governments, scientists or philosophers.  Nobody will be able to understand those things.     What we have not understood, should therefore be accepted by us as not understood.  It will enable our journey in this life to be safe and sound.  Let us not therefore waste our time wondering or worrying about the right or wrong of the things happening around.

 LET US NOT COMPARE.. Let us concentrate only on those things that concern our life requirements and ignore all the extraneous matters happening around us. The child was unaffected, stress free with the situation. WHY ...?   Because,  what was viewed in the TV had nothing to do with its life,  interests, environment or situation.  What the animals did in the jungle between themselves had no implication on them in their drawing room.   Why bother or discuss  ...?

NEVER JUDGE OTHERS.   People take liberty to assume the role of a Judge at the first opportunity.  A sinner can be absolved of sin by punishment or clemency by due process and proper administration of Justice.   It is a sin even to give a wrong view or decision as a self appointed judge, by way of clemency or punishment, without exercising due insight or acumen.   All the three failed to understand that.

An ARTIST includes in his frame what is important and the unwanted is left out.  Likewise, we should evaluate those parts of our day-to-day experiences, pick  and choose to include them as important and exclude the other dismal parts from our frame of perception.  Our mind will then be a compendium of the most invigorating inputs for us to get more of what we focus in life.

 

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85        CONTRADICTIONS
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This world is  full of contradictions and  we are born to live and die admist contradictions. The starting point of our life itself is symbolic.. The new born baby cries..  All others smile,  laugh and celebrate the event. Very strange.  A clear pointer forewarning of the future events in our life.    All contradictions are facts of life  orbiting us all around. Two people can look at the same and exact thing and yet observe things totally  different.    Nothing is therefore true or final. Everything has two or more faces. Each one contradicts the other and our own understanding will never be quite the same as somebody else's.  Many times we smile and laugh in an identical manner for different reasons. This world is full of confusion and contradiction, a faulty mixture of the fictitious  and the fanciful.

Let us first understand what a contradiction is.  It is a statement or attitude that contradicts or denies another or itself and is logically incongruous and inconsistent. The best example is..
    
“ I know that I know nothing ”        ...  Socrates
" If a man says he is lying, is he telling the truth? ... Epicures

The contradiction is staring in the sentence itself.

    Even historic events are no exception to this enigmatic situation.  Alexander the Great,   invaded and conquered the world and its wealth  by violent army action and ultimately died a natural death.  Mahatma Gandhi, born in a wealthy family, relinquished everything and finally conquered the British Empire by non violent methods and was ultimately shot dead by a native.   Quite Queer...  Contradictions are inherent and cleverly  inter woven in the biography of a man or in the History of  the world, making it a difficult one to understand  it, as a participant.

Let us therefore analyse it as a witness, to judge its influence.

LOVE......When two people keep arguing, it doesn't mean they don't love. Just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

MIND....  The capitalist spends sleepless nights in his jumbo bed, but his night watch man sleeps like a log at his entrance gate.

GOD.....   We go to temple, pray  and worship the GOD, but once it is stolen, the GOD becomes an idol, image or a statute, to be recovered.

ADVICE... Doctors tell poor patients to eat apples and almonds daily  and advise the rich fellows not to eat salt or sugar at all.

OPINION...Ten years ago we shocked persons by showing our mobile and today people are shocked to know that we do not have a mobile.

    The list of such contradictions are endless and therefore it is alright if we contradict ourselves. Obviously we are aware of all the prospects. It is quite normal even though it may appear to be abnormal. We know all about the Social norms, Rituals,Traffic Rules etc., but promptly try to  evade, flout, ignore or circumvent it, to the extent possible, in times of crisis. We have learnt to tolerate the apparent contradictions between religion and science.  We admire the conflicting situations which make a film or drama quite spicy and fascinating.  Even Art is a compromise of contradictions between drifting trends in modern and ancient works.  These little contradictions are in all of us, only to meet our objectives in Life.  The wisdom of these anomalies lies in the fact that they enable us to discover our own practical goals. 

     We just have to be our own mentor, believing and pursuing our goals.   Life is full of paradoxes.  We gain experience to make the right decision, only after making a mistake. Similarly, a thing that appears to be contrary may lead to a solution to our problem, as an opposite may also be bonafide and trustworthy.     Once adopted, the ghost of contradiction vanishes.  
              
 LET US BE FLEXIBLE     &   READY TO CONTRADICT   

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 84     HIS  MOTHER'S  VOICE
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        Childhood memories are sweet and fresh and they are embedded deep in the crevices of our mind forever.  The one most common daily routine is given below for your recollection.  How many of us have gone through this prologue everyday and how many mothers have unfailingly played this same role ad nauseum.

    "   oh....  Its already quarter to six..    Get up..  You will be late for school "

    The boy is rudely awakened by the first early morning voice of "suprabadham" when he was dreaming a beautiful scene from the pages of  the fairy tale which he was reading the previous night.    Even the sun had not risen from the horizon but her son was to raise earlier than the sun. Only sundays are not sondays. The boy's most unwilling and reluctant moment to listen his mother's voice HMV has arrived.

    "What is this ?     It is five minutes to six..   you are sleeping..   Get up"

A very miserable moment, when lying for a few more hours was the heart's desire of the boy.  But not today... He was wriggling in the bed.

     "If you don't get up now, I will throw hot water on your face."

The situation was getting serious and it is time to move his body from horizontal to a vertical position.

      "If you miss the school bus,   nobody will take you to school "

      "You will have to walk all the distance."

The taunts were increasing in tenacity and he was already up on his legs as he could not withstand the disturbance anymore.

      "My God..   Quick..    Go to the bathroom first..  "

      "Have you finished with brushing your teeth ?"

     "Breakfast is waiting for you..Quick..You are already late" 

      "Have you taken the Lunch box..    Check up..   see inside your bag..."

      "My God..    Put on your shoes and run..    The bus is honking"

      "Quick.. They wont wait for you"

      "Here, take the cap..and run..  Ta ta"

The mother grumbles....... " My boy.. When will he improve.. ?  " 

 It was the caring mother's desperate daily routine to awaken the reluctant boy and direct him inch by inch.. step by step.. by soft, shrill and lastly threatening words, to prepare him for his daily routine.  Left to himself, the boy would not have achieved his schooling and subsequent progress in life.  Always helpless and ignorant without protective upbringing,  the boys learn valuable things from a perfect mother, who gives good advice and discipline them on the right paths.  Only a mother can teach you values in life and prepare you for the future.  We all had our own share of childhood episodes where the above scene was always a permanent fixture, without exception.  We were groomed to listen to our mother and it became our trait or character.

Let us see what happened SIXTY YEARS LATER to such boys who are now above 70 years in age.  When the old man sees his daughter repeating the same scene verbatim to his sleeping grand son,  he has his sympathetic understanding of the  cyclical facts of life. But the irony  of it is,  when his wife startles him by playing the same episode in front of his retired bed, once again.  The old habit of awaking her son, discontinued three decades ago, has now resumed. Husband replaces the son,  that is all.

    "  oh..Its already quarter to Six.. Get up.."

A very unhappy moment for the old man who wanted to sleep for a few more hours. It was with great difficulty, he was able to sleep late last night, after trying yoga, reciting mantras, prayers and other umpteen methods, to drive away the wandering mind.

     "You will be late "

    "What is this ? It is five min.to six.. you are sleeping..  Get up"

The old man was wriggling in the bed having woken up too soon from  premature sleep.  Heavens are not going to fall down if he slept a little longer. There was  nothing to do after getting up.

   "If you don't get up now, your coffee will get cold"

   "If you say it is cold, nobody will make it hot for you"

    "You will have to  warm it yourself."

The same old tricks..soft, shrill and lastly threatening words, to prepare him for his daily insignificant routine.  It appears that he should not sleep, after six. That is all.   God only knows,   why ?

   "My God.. Quick.. Go to the bathroom first..."

   "Have you finished with brushing your teeth ?"

   "You cant drink coffee without brushing your teeth"

Home made Rules..  Just  obey,   if you want coffee.

   "Coffee is waiting for you..  Quick.. There is no time left."

   "Have you not brushed your teeth yet..  Tooth brush is there only .... Check up ..  see  yourself....  nobody will see it for you..."

   "My God.. Am I to show you the toothbrush.. The cooker is honking"

Salute the acumen or ingenuity of the wife, mother etc.,  who are the reciters of appropriate  " suprabatham" in front of the beds of their victims daily without fail or boredom. If you are still in bed, even the Almighty GOD will stare at you in wonder.

   "Quick.. The maid has come and will drink your coffee...  She won't wait for you..   She has to go to other houses..  Here, take the cup..and drink.."

The day has begun and Sundays are no exception for the old man.

The wife grumbles..."Oh my God... When will he improve  ?"

It is fact that you have not improved. It is not your fault.  You will never improve.  You were brought up that way by your mother and that is what your wife is happy to complain about. It is a family plot devised by the women, all over the world.   When bringing you up, your mother did not foresee your adult life.  The root cause of your problems of today can be traced to your childhood. The Child is the Father of the Man.   Immortal words of William Wordsworth.  The voice of your mother, HMV  is now your    " inner voice "  to which alone you tend to heed. Your behavioral pattern proves your upbringing. Whatever she predicted, you became  not because she said,  but because you believed in it .  In this circus of life, the children grow and end up as baboons for ever.

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83              END      MEANS
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 This is the story of a man who was in constant struggle, argument, quarrel and fight with,    NOT OTHERS  but with himself.  It may look strange, but it is real    and when you finish reading this, you will agree.
                                                                                                                                                  
    In the beginning, it was not there.  He started it long back,  as a working strategy to succeed in a complex and competitive world.  A very simple exercise. Always Be Careful,  as simple as ABC..... and  learning his lessons by keeping  an alert eye on the mistakes committed by others in the past under similar situations, thereby gaining experience  and expertise, without actual involvement.  Remember, prevention is a state of mind.    Precaution first,   precaution always.

    As a strategy,  he thought it was alright to assess the pitfalls, danger, loss and risks involved in any endeavor before embarking on it.  A person should keep an alert, watchful eye on the risk factors, to keep moving forward on the winning trail.  Any warning symptom or signal, should therefore raise an alarm of danger in the inner storehouse of negative thoughts, alerting one to stop, stare and take care of it.   It was a well thought-out process of anticipating the possible risks and hazards in every venture so that disappointments or losses  at a later stage, could be avoided or reduced to the minimum.   Judicious operation of this strategy facilitates smooth ride towards success without any serious mishap.   It does not mean that positive thoughts have no place in the scheme of things. Positive thinking, approach or attitude is, no doubt,  the most inspiring stimulant and tonic for advancement in life,  as important as a little bit of caution,  alerted by negative thoughts.

     In the beginning, the above method was the best strategy, for example, to pass a difficult competitive examination.  All positive actions like, detailed study of the entire syllabus, daily time-table for study, revision of the last ten years question papers, total focus, concentration etc.,  are essential.  At the same time, neglecting certain mishaps like sickness and other emergencies would nullify the golden chance of passing out with flying colours in first attempt. Therefore keeping an alert eye on the negative aspects and avoiding them altogether would ensure achieving the coveted goal. This appeared to be the only safe way of approach.

    " My  sister's marriage was fixed on the day of Examination.."  How many times such contingencies have ruined the ambitious goals of aspirants.  To succeed in first attempt, one should have already foreseen and decided to cold-shoulder such situations altogether.  Judicious negative thinking helps a lot in the initial stages of planning for growth.  Many successful people rose to great heights standing on this platform. Therefore,  to anticipate and avoid is the real MANTRA for  success.

    He was right and it worked to his advantage .

    Once this habit pattern was installed in the mind-set, it got deep rooted and became the only ' modus operendi '  in every day affairs of the individual. It became his second nature, so to say.  " No " was easier said than " Yes "  Success and progress in his career was at his beck and call.

    The trouble started later when he had no serious goals in front of him.That is when this " negative " ghost started tormenting him.  The mind refused to function in any other way and he was at the crossroads always, unable to decide.  The mind was now jam packed, swarming with multifarious negative ideas and alternatives.  He was under tremendous stress,  tension and worry.  Always in a state of limbo of uncertainty and unable to wind up with a clear-cut decision, he became unpopular with one and all.  The seed of negative ideas has now grown into an expanding tree generating multiple negative vibes, rejecting all positives staring at his face.  His mind is now wired to detect and dwell only on adverse factors. A robot of this kind  which was a runaway hit in the initial stages,  is now a non-starter, creating road-blocks on every silly matter .... " Is it safe enough ? " ........       " Why ? "....."  Will it work ? "... "  WHAT  IF ? " and such bagful of  questions and doubts engulfed and clouded his mind.  The dictatorial voice of negativity, continued to frighten and weaken his ability to decide in favour of the positives, transforming him gradually into an erratic and aimless vagrant.  He was always lagging behind GO AHEAD.


    Even during a breath-taking cruise tour of Lakshdeep islands, his mind was foreseeing things like delay, calamity, crash, sharks, drowning and other distressing trivia.  He was searching for the life boat, when a group of  dolphins passed through the cruise.  He missed such a rare spectacle. He was now a slave of his own devilish creation of fear and precaution. A man brooding over the nasty projections of the mind, anticipating imaginary troubles, spending sleepless nights analyzing both sides of every question and ultimately surrendering to the inertia of indecision.    Being neutral and doing nothing itself appeared to emerge as a decision.    A victim of analysis paralysis. The fence  was now eating the crop.

      Many times, we come across such people whose incongruous frame of mind remind us of such inherent complexes, in ourselves. Those afflicted  with this syndrome, can easily identify others who are going through this phenomenon.   They do not know what exactly  they want.     They have all the clout and still do not know their mind.  Their mind keeps them waiting and obstructs them from moving ahead.   Remember,  you keep moving only when you dare to keep moving.    

    Awareness to balanced acceptance of the present reality, is the only solution to those struggling with the unruly projections of the mind. Misinformed mind is easily mesmerized and frightened to make stupid and impulsive decisions.  Similarly, redundant information due to media and technology also causes confusion of feeling, thinking and reacting to what goes on. You have to control your mind that thinks means  as an end. Means are inconsequential, only the end matters.  The road will not greet and welcome you.  You have to begin walking.  An expert is one who knows what to pay attention and what to ignore, in making judicious decisions based on his priorities.  The end is the means by which you achieve it. It also requires courage to make decisions and face the consequences of it.

    END ONLY MATTERS,   NOT THE MEANS.

___________________________________________________________________________          82                   DARLING
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          I was waiting for the Simhagad express due to arrive at Dadar at 5 pm.    My daughter was arriving with my grand children to spend a short holiday, as my son in law was away at Lucknow on an official work for three months.    I was worried whether she would be able to handle the two mischievous boys and bring them safe in the train,   as this is the first time she is travelling independently, all by herself.  She was so excited at seeing me waiting in the platform and promptly handed over the boys in my custody.   She was probably tired of the tension and responsibility of this errand and stood greatly relieved at this moment.

It was nice the see my daughter and grandchildren having made this trip, quite an adventure, without any problem .  I escorted them out and hired a taxi and when it started moving towards Ville Parle,  I  enquired my daughter ..

   " How was the travel..?   Everything OK.. "    I merely asked in a casual manner.

It seems, she was waiting only for this opportunity and with a flying start she burst out her travails in a torrential downpour of words.

' Everything was alright, Bapa..  as you suggested, I had reserved three seats in the train and luckily we had window seats also.. because you know your grandchildren are fond of sight-seeing. We were able to locate our reserved seats and settled down.  The boys started fighting for the window seat. I told them not to fight and share it by exchanging their seats every half an hour and the boys are very obedient, you know.....and by the time I was sorting it out, I found a crowd of passengers were trekking in,   much more than the available reserved seats..  You know,  our people, have no sense of discipline or rules to follow.  When I was handling  the boys, trying to make peace with the window seat problem in an amicable way I found that two teen-aged girls had occupied my seat, without my knowledge... behind my back.  I was  shocked and I could not believe that people can quietly occupy seats reserved by others for their own sitting ....  Does it need one to tell these things... When you enter the train you should be already knowing these things.. I merely told them to get up and vacate the seat.  I spoke in English as I did not know their language.. You know what she said..  Why should I vacate ? as if she did not know anything at all ...  and I had to tell her this seat is reserved..  I have reserved three seats and so you get up and go to your seat.  Am I not right..?  How can she sit in my seat when I had reserved three seats  15 days before, with great difficulty..  See Bapa..   You tell me.. Can you enter any train and decide to sit anywhere you want..   Am I to explain all the rules to her..?   You know what she replied... she said there is no rule that she should not sit,  especially  when so much spare space is available.  Because the boys are small it does not mean the extra space is for her.  I have paid for that seat in full for its full size.  I did not want to explain all this to her, if she does not know these things..  In a reserved compartment, can anyone sit because there is space available.   What is the meaning of " Reserved " ? Anyway, I explained to her that I am not well and I get sick and so these seats are reserved for us.... Bapa..... do not you know I get migraine / headaches especially in the after noon every day, since my childhood.. I told her my problem and she merely laughed and was not moving out at all.     I had to push her and squeeze myself to sit in my own seat reserved by me, for my own sitting. You know I am anemic and weak and how can I push those two young girls who were sturdy and bad. The bad-girl says,   she also can speak English, pointing that I spoke in English.. So what.. Is it wrong if I speak in English.. I had not spoken any improper words in English..  And the way she spoke English, I could make out her proficiency.. Because of her nuisance, my migraine was about to return anytime now.. I was worried and I did not want my head ache at this moment.. I was already having enough headache.. If I get my migraine, who will look after the boys.. Supposing I have to vomit,  you know that I have to vomit when I have headaches,  who will look after the boys ? Supposing they start running here and there when I am having migraine..   So I took my tablet from my bag to take it, only to prevent the onset of migraine... You know what..  the bad girl smiled and started throwing meaningful glances at her friend, meaning that I am showing off  my sickness. What does she think ? Why should I prove her anything ?  Especially my migraine which I am having since my school days.. What does she know about me ?   I was only waiting for the ticket checker to come so that I will teach her who I am.  But the checker did not turn up at all... There was so much crowd, it was impossible  for him even to enter the compartment.. 

" Don't wave your hand outside the window.."  She shouted suddenly, seeing the boy showing something excitedly to his brother.. The startled boy suddenly withdrew his hand.

I had to keep eyes on the boys throughout this journey and also handle those bad girls troubling me throughout the trip.  Luckily the boys were busy looking out of the window and on the way they wanted "samoza"  I told them to wait for Karjat station where hot "samozas" are sold in the platforms. They remember it as you know.. You had purchased those "samozas" for them last time when we were returning home after Diwali festival.  They still remember it and have not forgotten it and they mentioned it again and again while eating the samozas".They remember you always.  I wanted to bring some for you but you know it is not allowed by Doctors after your recent heart operation.  I have fruits for you..I know you like strawberries...  Oh...You look quite weak now..   You look old.. older than what you looked like last time..  I shall make " Oats Idly" for you.. it is good for your health and easy to digest ...Do not ask for those fried things.. Not good for you.. I wont make it for you ...  I have also stopped cooking those things which are  not good for you...  Are you thirsty...?  Do you want water to drink..   I have a bottle..  The boys don"t drink water at all   .. ..  .... Bapa.. Why are you crying...   What is the matter....

I was overwhelmed by the flood of prattle,  triggered on a mere enquiry from me near the  Railway station.  My daughter is still the same little princess as always, never changed, though grown up in appearance. She is the same unruffled child who sat on my lap and fell asleep listening to my canards, while I stroked her hair, feeling safe and sound, who took my words as Gospel truth and fought tooth and nail to defend me... I think she never grew old at all.  A mother of two boys, she behaves like a child in front of me.  She still thinks that her Dad is a central figure in her life.   Daddy continues to be the King ruling her heart....  She is so special,  so loving with a heart of gold , always bringing twinkle in my eyes. God has sent her as a special gift to me from Heaven,  to teach me life's lessons and shower me with love.  I never get old at all as long as she is around me.    She never feels grown up at all in my presence.  She is larger than life to me.  I am always in awe that she is part of me...   My darling daughter..  Timeless..   Ageless  ..  Always....

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81       GET    TOGETHER
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It was my younger brother's marriage and after  24 hours of rail journey we were delighted to join the crowd of relatives and family members, admist noisy reunion at the marriage hall. Each one got busy introducing their children to one another and my boys were totally bewildered at the excitement of mixing with total strangers, suddenly becoming close relatives. It was also their first time  to actually see a marriage  and its proceedings in person.   My parents were also excited to see their grandchildren all at a time in one place.  My boys were getting introduced to their cousins and in a short while they were in a great mood of enjoying the get together.  The hectic atmosphere in the marriage hall was also a refreshing stress buster for all of us,  with every face beaming with cheer and joy..

" The breakfast is ready.. go to the hall "   Everyone eagerly waiting for this announcement rushed to the dining hall to enjoy the steaming idlies, vada and upma servings with chatny and sambar. The special filter coffee was stimulating. My parents were busy organising and playing host to all of us. I was also busy mingling with relatives and local friends.  Everything was strange for my boys who are visiting this side of the country for the first time.

" Chandrahasan has come " announced my father coming towards me. " He wants to see you. "    The very unusual name sent my memory back to more than three decades. He was the head-man of our village, who used to look after me and my brother when we were babies. I could still remember him as a tall, strong, able-bodied man with a long mustache, taking care of us.  He used to come every morning to take us out to the various places in our village, while performing his other duties.   He was not a baby-sitter but "  baby-walker ".   He was my favorite as he used to take me on a sight-seeing-tour to which ever place I demanded , showing me the cows, goats, poultry, mango trees, paddy-fields and what not.  I told my boys quickly about him.  My brother was also excited on hearing his name.

After a few minutes, I was surprised to see an old man with stooping shoulders and white mustache approaching us with staggering slow steps and guided by my father. It took me by surprise to see his present appearance.   " Where is Raasa ? " was his question and his eyes were in search of that baby whom he was holding on his shoulders more than three decades before.   I was surprised that he was still remembering me and also calling me by name.  I got up and  stood before him and he did not recognise me.    My father told him  " This is Rasa.."  and repeated it again. Chandrahasan looked at me incredulously, not able to digest the scene in front of him.  I was the first to come to terms with the situation and went to him. I embraced the old man and said  " I am the  Rasa "       Looking at me with wide eyes, he exclaimed  " Are you the one  ? ".. A look of disappointment was visible and he was slowly gathering his wits and coming to his senses.   His initial anxiety to meet the baby Raasa was replaced by his understanding of the passage of time.   All his eagerness evaporated and to enthuse his spirits,  I slowly touched his mustache and said  " Me only, Rasa " to relive the memory of my childhood prank with him.  A sudden smile appeared in   his face and he was back to normal.   With an endearing look of affection and tenderness, he said  " You have not changed, at all ... The same way you used to do  when you were a baby ". My sons were looking at the strange things going on in front of them.   " You have become a very big man..  I did not imagine...  God bless you.."   was all that the emotional Chandrahasan could muster to say.   I could see tears swelling out of his eyes. I could feel the depth of his affection and love he had for me as a baby.   I could not resist the tears of my own joy.  Time stood still,  dissolving three decades of interval.

" Where is Ramu..who used to pull my moustache..? " My brother who was watching all this,  presented himself in front of him and said   " I am Ramu " Chandrahasan beamed with pride, looking  at us.  The moment was exemplary and we both embraced him and held him from each side and made him sit and dine with us.   We were struggling to come to terms with the current reality by attempting to revive long forgotten memories of the past,   like his driving us in the bullock cart to the school,   teaching us swimming, etc.,  When I told him how he managed to catch the big  lizard hiding in the roof of the old dilapidated temple, he was thrilled to recollect the scene.  When I enquired about Kalimutthu, Anjali, Mariappan and others he was in good spirits to explain how kalimuthu drank himself to death, how Anjali went for a 'mela' and did not return.. Mariappan is no more..   We did our best to relive the past and make the most of the rare occasion.  My father told me, that Chandrahasan  quarreled and persuaded his family to allow him to attend the marriage, after getting the invitation card.   He had traveled more than 70 miles from our erstwhile village, just to see me and Ramu.  It was a great get together,  dwindling all others. I was lucky to meet my " baby-sitter " after three decades. A very rare scene where myself the baby, the baby-sitter, my parents and my children  were going through an extra ordinary get together of a lifetime, among ourselves.    His Heart's desire fulfilled,   Chandrahasan took leave of us and we gave him a warm send off at the Bus station.  An unforgettable event in my life.

Memories are timeless treasures of Heart.. You can close your eyes and see them at your will,  anytime, anywhere in the world.  They are evergreen,  eternal and sweet.
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