ANECDOTES .... 4

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80        GRITTY    @   EIGHTY
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       Thank the Tickler for the reminder,  just in time....Can't believe it, really....  You will be blowing out 80 candles tomorrow........ to celebrate birth  that happened long long ago...   My God...  Time really flies like a bullet .....  It has taken so many decades to get used to the fact that you are not young anymore.    If you are still imagining to be in the prime of your life, let this day remind you and put you in the right place.    Now you are an  Octogenarian. You belong to the special group of the limited edition of elders.   No doubt,  Birthdays are the feathers in the long wing of Time and a good indicator of health.  With more and more Birthdays,  you live longer, adding candles of knowledge and wisdom to your life.

Do you recall the words of your Boss, four decades ago,  on the day of his retirement ?    " A month used to be as long as 45 days when  I was your age. Time refused to move in those days.  Even one single day was dragging along  like a week. The salary day was always far off..... But  Time runs the fastest when you are old."  He was grumbling in despair and you nodded obediently.   You knew that Time flies when you are busy or having fun.   But as we age, time flies whether you are busy,  having fun or not.  It is a question of zest for life. Some fellows retire at 60 and then go berserk and to pieces, nose-diving from the peak of the financial stability, status and  prestige of their career,  into an empty world of dwindling importance.  The hundreds of daily official greetings also evaporate. All the professional and official gusto and glamour vanish into thin air.  In the initial stages, they brag, boast and exaggerate their achievements until they find few or no listeners.  Eventually they  tend to become dysfunctional, ritualistic or withdrawn, facing a lonely old age. They remain totally silent as if their tongues have been glued to their teeth, if any. I think that in this aging journey of life, this part of the phase, viz., oldage syndrome, is the most difficult to adjust or come to terms with.   But I know, you anticipated all this and avoided the trap.  The beauty of this world lies in its diversity and not in the only thing we were employed to do and brag about it, for the rest of our life. The many useful hobbies like fine Arts and sports you had picked up during your career and your curiosity to learn new skills, saved you from the drudgery of  an aimless retired life. 

It will be interesting to go down your memory lane ....You were just a toddler when World War II started and Japan attacked Pearl Harbor.  Hitler was busy terrorizing  the world until driven to suicide. US dropped atom bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  I wonder whether you can recall those days. You were going  to your Primary school in a remote village, unaware of the turmoil all around the world.  Do you remember the panic in Madras city, when Japanese war planes attacked Nicobar, Ceylon and nearby Kakinada  ? Your relatives  locked their houses at Madras and rushed back to your village,  fearing imminent Japanese attack. You were lucky to see Mahathma Gandhi, C.Rajagopalachary and Sir C.P.Ramaswamy Iyer in person. You were in high school when India got freedom and  China became a Republic.  These historic events happened in your early life. Quite enviable for the rest of us.

Can you recall your childhood days with your grand parents ?   Your grandpa was the landlord of a sprawling village.  The joint family system gave you the chance to live with a crowd of relatives, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews under one big roof. Your grandpa was the real God father of the house. The morning ritual of  reciting a long prayer of "sanskrit slokas" with grandpa while performing his daily "puja" and the exciting breakfast of never ending supply of  " idlies " and tender coconut water... All that are now defunct phases of the past.  I admire, you  are still reciting the same prayer slokas of your grandpa, even today.     Hats off to you ...

Anyway,  the progress from bullock-cart to jumbo-jets,  firewood to micro-wave, manuscript to e-books, post card to e-mail, trunk-calls to tele-conferences, postman to drones, handwriting to texting, visuals to videos ...  the technological progress was phenomenal and you were the lucky one to witness all this in your life time, unlike your parents. You are twice blessed to experience all this and may miss the many more mind blowing bizarre things like driver less cars, autonomous robots, inter-planetary internet, cyber- wars,  artificial intelligence etc.,    ... yet to explode anytime. 

Reminiscence is the act of recollecting the pleasant experiences or events. Lying in your bed, try to recall those random memories that bring joie de vivre to your daily life, no matter what is going on right now. I know,  you have no contemporaries near you to reminisce memories by saying  "Hey...Remember the time when we...."  The least  you can do is to recollect the 248 names of your maternal and paternal relatives whom you knew personally from your childhood. And if you tell your grand children, born and brought up in America, that you used to take your daily bath in Cauveri river, walk three miles daily to your school, play hide-and-seek with friends inside " 1000 pillar mandap" of the big temple etc., I am sure, you will desist from all those queer antics of the bygone days ..Obsolete and not pertinent in these hectic days.

In your eighth decade,  you should learn to feel happier than what you were in your sixties. You are at the fag end of your journey and do not know when and where is the finishing tape. It is now too late to be whatever else you wanted to be... You really cannot do that at this age. You are already that...

You are now  your own friend, guide and philosopher. CHEERS...

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79        P A R A D O X
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This is a popular story which you might have read or heard it sometime or the other.

In a particular area there were two railway tracks, surrounded by trees and bushes, where some children were playing.  In one track, trains used to pass frequently and in the other no train used to pass.  One boy who was knowing it, was sitting in that track where no train was expected to pass. But in the other track almost a dozen boys were playing recklessly. They also knew that it was wrong and also dangerous to play there, as a train may run over them anytime, unexpectedly.  It was at this time, a train was approaching fast in that track where the dozen children were playing carelessly. The train was not expected to stop and run over all of them.   But there was only a chance of diverting the train into the next track where only one child was sitting. The tools / instruments to change the track, are nearby.  You are there watching the situation.  

              What would you do in such a situation ?   

This question was posed to the audience. Given a choice what would you chose to do. 

The audience was not very much in a stress to take a decision. It was an obvious stand taken by the audience, to save all the children by diverting the train to the track where a single child was sitting. After all, it is a question of saving lives of a dozen children as against a single child.  It was as simple and fair as that.

           But is it fair ?  Is it correct ?   Is it justified ?

The disciplined child who was following the correct norms and sitting exactly in the track knowing that no train is expected to pass through,  is getting punished for no fault of his.     Whereas the other dozen in disciplined and careless ones are rewarded for their wanton recklessness..  In fact, they should have faced the consequences of their fault. If this is the way decision-making is influenced,    it is ironical that guilty persons would go scot free because they are involved in wrong and illegal activities in greater numbers.The law-abiding and obedient persons are getting punished, on behalf of the wrong-doers, for no fault of theirs,   merely because they are alone or few.           No logic at all.

                            Is it paradoxical ?  

    Is decision making such a controversial subject ?

On the face of it, it appears that the decision-maker is guilty.  What he did was graver than what the actual wrong-doers were doing.  It was improper and immoral.

What then was the alternative ?  Which one you would favour ?  Would you like to escape from the scene and avoid the problem of taking a decision, or  flip a coin and decide the choice of destiny ?  Ultimately,  it requires courage to make a choice.          Let us analyse.

The reward and punishment theory does not work properly in such cases. You cannot accuse and say it is a wrong or stupid decision.  It may nevertheless be justified as a correct decision.  You will  face situations in your life, prompting you to take one of the hardest decisions and many times it is not easy to pick right from the wrong. Most of our big  mistakes are as a result of allowing emotions to overrule logic. The best thing we always do, is to go with our heart and hope all goes well.  We scarcely know the right choice and we do not bother. 

Therefore,  do not regret, once you decide and take a stand. Accept the result and consequences of your decision. Move forward  and  stay strong with your decision.    Do what you think is right.    Many times a good decision is made for wrong reasons, and a wrong decision is taken for good reasons.    Do not let people make the decision of right and wrong for you.  You stand for the decision you choose.  Sometimes you make the right decision.  Sometimes you make the decision right. There is no right or wrong decision.  People are capable of making conscious and good decisions. 

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78            POLITICS  OF  REVENGE
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                      PARASHURAMA, a Brahman who received his famous axe from Lord SHIVA, is a well known warrior for ridding the world of  kshatriyas,  because a kshatriya king   killed his father Rishi JAMADAGNI. Parashurama single-handedly conquered and killed hundreds of kshatriyas, to avenge the death of his father.   PARASURAMA was the GURU and teacher to KARNA and whose anger and curse ended the life of KARNA during the Mahabharata War. Earlier  BHISHMA refused to marry AMBA because of the vow of celibacy taken by him.  But the humiliated AMBA was born as an eunuch named SHIKHANDI in her next birth and was instrumental in BHISHMA’s death. ARJUN used SHIKANDI as a shield and shot arrows at BHISHMA and felled him in battle. Thus AMBA avenged her humiliation in her next birth as SHIKHANDI in causing the death of BHISHMA.

                    DRONA was the brother in law of KRIPACHARYA, the hereditary Guru, teacher of KAURAWAS. DRONA was unemployed and he approached his erstwhile school mate, now KING DRAUPADA for help and was insulted by the King.  Later, BHISHMA appointed DRONA as the teacher to teach weaponry to the Princes.  After training the Princes, Drona sent the Princes to attack DRAUPADA and ARJUN  defeated and brought DRAUPADA as a prisoner.  DRONA  pardoned  DRAUPADA and took North Panchala for himself and handed over South Panchala to DRAUPADA, thus avenging the insult meted out to him by his school-mate.

                      The humiliated DRAUPADA  did YAGYA from which his son DRISHTATHYUMA and daughter DRAUPATHY emerged out of fire,  to avenge the defeat and humiliation of DRAUPADA by DRONA.

                      During the Mahabaratha war, DRISHTAHYUMA was the General of the Pandava’s Army and DRONA’s chance as the general of Kaurawa’s Army came after BHISHMA.  BHIMA killed an elephant named Aswathama during the war. ASWATHAMA was also the name of the Son of DRONA who was also an expert warrior. The news of the death of ASWATHAMA disturbed DRONA and while in that state was killed by DRISHTATHYUMA, fulfilling his mission of avenging the insult and defeat of his father. DURYODANA the last survivor escaped and went into hiding. ASWATHAMA, son of DRONA, came to see him and BHIM located and killed DURYODANA thereby avenging the humiliation of DRAUPATHY .

                ASWATHAMA and KRIPACHARYA plotted and entered the camp of Pandavas in the night and killed DRISHTAHYUMA and the five sons of DRAUPATHY, another act of revenge. They went and told DURYODANA the good news of what they did a few minutes before his death. The furious ARJUNA challenged ASHWATHAMA, son of his Guru and teacher, now hiding in the hut of Sage VEDA VYASA and the fight was judiciously stopped. ASHWATHAMA was pardoned with a curse that he will live for a thousand years wandering in forests.

                                      

                       Most of these exploits were achieved by crooked, unfair  and merciless strategies where each one pursued his or her own individual agenda.
                    In short, if you probe and scrutinize  you will understand that history does nothing but repeat itself. You will also know that History, after some centuries, become Mythology. Let us not therefore become victims of the known patterns of History or Mythology

                                           Love has its place, as does hate.

       Peace has its place, as does war.

                            Mercy has its place, as do cruelty and revenge.
                                       JUSTICE  IS  REVENGE.. ?                                       j

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77           TO  ME    or    NOT  TO  ME
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After a long wait, the bus I was waiting for turned up and luckily there was not much crowd. To my surprise, I found a vacant seat for me and occupied it happily. The man sitting next to me smiled as if welcoming me.  It was a good sign for a pleasant small journey to my house.

After some time, I found the man sitting next to me, throwing frequent glances at me and also smiling sometime, as if he knew me. Anyway such things are quite common in public places. The bus was moving amidst noisy traffic,  making the journey uncomfortable.

“ What is troubling you ? ”

I was surprised by this kind enquiry from my neighbor.
“ Nothing.. It is alright.. Roads are bumpy, you know.  It is ok..Thanks ” 
I was a bit moved by his kind enquiry and such friendly people are quite rare nowadays.

Meanwhile the conductor came and I told him my destination for buying the ticket.

“Don’t talk to him.. ” My neighbor blurted out suddenly.
I was a bit disturbed by this remark. I merely looked at him and told him that I was buying the ticket. That is all.

“ No one else coming ?”
Again, it was an odd question by my neighbor.  Anyway I replied “  No. Just myself.  one ticket only.” 
I was a bit disturbed by his queer remarks

The conductor was now quarreling with a person about not giving small change for the ticket and there were some noisy exchanges.

“ You are also like him ? ”
This was another unexpected remark from my neighbor. I told him I paid only small change and the exact amount for the ticket. He  must have noticed it also.

“I doubt it… What makes you think so ? ”   
This is going a little too far. I told him that I paid him the exact amount and there was no argument or hassle about it.

“ Don’t bother about him.. He is a mad cap. You don’t have to worry. ”
My neighbor blurted out. It was a very unusual comment.  Anyway I thought he must have realized his mistake and was actually trying to  accept my reply.

“ I am there..  Do not bother.   I will take care of him..”
This comment was slightly disturbing. I was beginning to wonder whether I was in the midst of some trouble.

“ What will she think, if she comes to know ?”..
Another insinuating remark, came after a pause. I could not make out his intentions. Does he mean that I have done something stupid or objectionable that my wife will be ashamed of me.  I thought it was time to put a stop to this fellow’s intrusions.  I stared at him sternly and he noticed my furious face.

I told him in  clear terms, to keep quite and mind his business. I do not need his advice at all.

The startled man looked at me.  He slowly removed the hearing aid attached to his ears and also disabled the mike from his mobile and stared at me.

The man  said quietly.    “ What is your problem.. ?
I am talking with my wife  and not  with you..”

I was astonished to find that all this time I have been foolishly answering all his enquiries and questions addressed to his wife through his mobile.  I did not notice the mike and attached ear phones. I really believed that he was actually talking with me. It was the first time I was trapped into an unwarranted situation created by modern technology of invisible “ hands-off ” microphones and speakers. It is very strange but the mobiles makes you closer to persons far from you but removes you away from person sitting next to you.


Times are changing....   We must therefore learn to adjust ourselves to changing Times.   It is disturbing to pass through persons chattering on multi-functional, tiny gadgets,  provided with sophisticated technology, placed on their palms.  Nowadays,I do not even respond to people who talk to me directly, unless   I am sure they are not invisibly connected to some far-off persons. The difference between talking on your cell phone or speaking directly with people on the spot is almost nil.  The technology of hand held devices, namely cell phones, is taking the most unexpected
and  whimsical turns,  in my life time. With the advent of such super gadgets, we have become schizophrenics of all sorts, in the present scenario.

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76                  U T O P I A 
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               Looking around the chaos created by humans all round the world, we ordinary mortals gaze and wonder whether some divine intervention only could guide the world to some order or perfection.    Chaos appears to be the law of nature.   Life is always chaotic, frustrating, making us lose control, perspective, clarity... Order remains only the dream of man.

                Maybe it's a little depressing to think that our vision of a perfect world is actually so messed up that we do not even understand what exactly ' perfection ' is.  The idea of perfection has always been elusive or non- existent, because the idea of perfection arises out of a man’s mind, which itself is imperfect. So whatever comes out of an imperfect mind has to be imperfect. Perfection is therefore a utopia.

                There is nothing perfect in this world.  The world is an imperfect creation of a God who created crazy creatures like us. Let us admit.    It's not a perfect world, and things don't always work out the way we want it.  There is the seed of both good and evil, big and small, strong and weak, beauty and the beast, in everything, everywhere… It's a constant challenge between them to overtake or surpass the other in a continuous race towards supremacy or perfection. And one cannot exist without the other. Perfection emerges out of this eternal contrast and struggle to excel.

                Added to this is the elusive concept of  ultimate perfection and our incapacity to achieve it.  Each one sees and understands according to his nature, upbringing, and environment.  The pattern of thought works and stays that way. Our minds move in a dozen different directions. We can't be confined to one way of thinking.  Each one comprehends parts of the whole according to his environment and mindset. There are only patterns, layers and layers of patterns, patterns on top of patterns, patterns within patterns, patterns hidden by patterns, patterns that affect other patterns, patterns we could not decipher and recognize.   For example, the tree includes the roots, trunk, branches, leaves, flowers and fruits all in one.  A mere flag represents an entire nation and a nation represents its entire diversity ... Known pointers explain the unknown pointers of perfection. Infinite reality pervades the world.  Many layers are superimposed on reality. Everything is an expression of the same thing.  The intellect cannot capture and understand its entirety. 

                Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can excel. I think what makes it fascinating is the conflict, the drama,  the human  craze for changing the existing condition. Nobody wants to stare and watch imperfection. They strive hard to improve and perfect it until there is nothing more to add or nothing left to remove. The evolutionary process towards perfection is in perpetual motion.      

                When the magical event of creating a utopia is realized, we would have created a world without contradictions and conflicts, in which everything is conventional, customary, harmonious and perfect ….   Where everything is common place, expected, convenient and routine… Life would be devoid of poverty, evil, ignorance, stress, strain, pain or gain….   

                      Is this the utopia of our dreams  ?

              

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75            VIBRATIONS
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        The King was riding his royal elephant around the main streets of his capital. While riding in the bazaar and passing through sandalwood shop, the King was getting uneasy and disturbed.  He mentioned to his Minister, “ I do not know why…  but I feel like hanging the owner of this shop. ”   The Minister was astonished and shocked, as it is was quite unusual for the good King to talk like this.  Next day, the Minister decided to visit the shop and find out what was the matter.  The Minister visited the shop in disguise and casually enquired about his business. The shopkeeper grumbled about his dull business. Many customers visit and smell the sandalwood and appreciate it, but nobody buys. “I am now tired of sitting here every day wondering whether anybody is going to buy my sandalwood.” The Minister sympathized with him but was alarmed when the shop keeper continued and said “ I sometimes wish the King dies quickly so that all my sandalwood will be bought for burning his body. Only then my troubles will be overcome.”  The moment he heard these words, the Minister understood like a flash of lightening, why the King felt like hanging this shopkeeper yesterday.  The bad thoughts ruling the mind of the shop keeper must have transmitted the vibrations in the mind of the King, while passing through his shop.

     The wise Minister who was an expert in problem solving strategies, was intrigued by this complex situation and decided to resolve it in a simple and safe manner.

       He bought a few sandalwood pieces from him for a small price and gave it to the King saying that the shopkeeper gave them as a gift to the King. The curious King saw the golden colored sandalwood pieces and was overjoyed by its fragrance and smell. The extremely happy King was ashamed why he felt like hanging this loyal and devoted shopkeeper.  In remorse, he gave a few gold coins to the Minister asking him to present it to the shopkeeper and express his appreciation.

     The Minster promptly gave the gold coins to the shopkeeper and conveyed the appreciation of the King. After receiving the gold coins the shopkeeper was very happy and could not believe his luck. The gold coins made him rich and happy. His business also picked up because of the patronage of the King.  The shopkeeper also felt very badly as to why thought selfishly about the death of such a benevolent King.  His mind was now full of good and appreciative thoughts about the King.

Let us understand how the strategy works.

                                                  

If we keep and nurse  good thoughts about others, they will create positive vibrations which will bring good results to us through various means.  Instead, if we encourage bad thoughts and feelings about others, the same bad thoughts will rebound on us causing trouble and disturbances.

If mere thoughts have such power, imagine how much the sound and words spoken can cause vibration and spark energy. Vibration is a living thing; it does contain a spirit of sort, a subtle energy and connectivity.  The words we choose to use when we communicate with each other carry vibrations. The words we use disclose how we think and how we feel. The careful selection of words helps to elevate our consciousness and resonate in higher frequencies. For example, the word ‘hatred’ carries a whole different vibration than the word ‘love’.

This vibration keeps going: When we don't interact people with sincerity in our hearts, they receive mixed vibrations from us. These vibrations become a source of disharmony and chaos for the people and the universe.

Negativity influences our entire energetic body. It becomes part of our vibration aura; what we’re emitting and receiving in return from the world.  How we respond to the world is how the world will treat us.   What we sow, we reap the same.       Reciprocal exchange…..

Therefore, give attention to a positive thought until it becomes a dominant thought. Repeating this thought will become a bigger part of your vibration. We have the ability to heal ourselves through such positive vibrations.

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74                         UNEXPECTED
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         Now that his son was married and was looking after his affairs competently, the old man thought it was the right time for him to go on a pilgrimage, which was his heart’s desire. His wife was not willing to join him; he decided to proceed  alone on his long journey.  It would take months for him to reach the holy shrine. In those days, going on a pilgrimage was a final decision and nobody expected them to return, due to the distance, hardships, wayside diseases, dacoits, old age problems etc., He threw a last glance at his grand old house which was his prized possession, an object of immense pride and sense of achievement.  The family gave him a tearful send off.

     Throughout his pilgrimage, the old man was thinking of his family and other prized possessions. After many months of travel and travails, he was able to reach the holy shrine and complete his pilgrimage.  He stayed there for many months to his heart’s content and finally decided to return home.

       It took him many more months to return back home. When he entered his village he found it  looking so much different, due to changes during his years of  absence.  He finally identified his locality and reached home with great expectations and ecstasy. To his shock, he could not locate his house. The place where his house stood, was now in ruins, totally bulldozed to bottom, as if ravaged by a cyclone or hurricane.  He was in great shock. Apparently some calamity must have taken place during the period of his absence. He was crestfallen.  He thought the entire family was wiped out along with his prized house. This calamity was totally unexpected. He fainted and  collapsed, overwhelmed with sudden grief and depression. He  could not moan or complain nor could he yell out shouting his grief. It was the end of his world. An undeserving reward for his pilgrimage…

       After a long pause, he felt someone touching his shoulders. He opened his eyes slowly and what he saw was incredulous. He could not believe his eyes.  His son was standing there in front of him.  A sudden flash of  brightness, excitement and hope overcame him. He was thrilled to see his son and all his despair vanished in an instant. He rose like a colossus and embraced his son.  Tears rolled down from his eyes in  a torrent. What a change of fortune…..

     He inquired about his wife, family and children.  The son replied smilingly. All are fine and will be thrilled to see him.  The old man’s sagging heart, leaped to great heights on hearing this good news. What a tragedy he was imagining ... Oh. my GOD.

      As a last wish, he asked about the damaged house.. the culprit and root cause of all this. His son explained, “Three months before, we came across a good offer and I sold it for a fabulous amount to a builder.  We have now moved to a beautiful bungalow near our grapes garden.  Our business has also picked up and all are happy. Please come home.  I have been coming here every day expecting your return and today all of us will be very happy to see you back home."

      The old man got up with a staggering feet.  All the good news heard so far, pumped vitality and strength to his staggering feet. He stood now like a giant and started walking with his son,  leaving behind remnants of the shock of a  gloomy disaster, experienced  a few hours before.

     The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own existence. In some ways we are, in some ways we're not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence. What we are seeing is not real and what we perceive is an illusion. We do not see things as they are. Sometimes the excitement or shock, distorts our perspective. Makes us experience something that does not exist. There is only one kind of shock worse than the totally unexpected: the expected, for which one has refused to prepare.

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73.               THANKSGIVING 
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Health is not valued till sickness comes.  Sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements.  Now let us proceed with the matter.

 

I do not know how I got it. Dysentery…loose motion in common parlance. Was it the “batata vada” on the highway eatery, or my recent of habit of eating one full pocket of biscuits daily.  It could be anything,  even the change of place, climate or pollution on the road.  The gravity of the condition, after three visits to the toilet, made me feel floored forever.  Unable to get up, my wife got panicky and to my good luck, my Doctor was gracious enough to visit my house on my request. Very rare and unusual. Nowadays, Doctors find no time to visit their patients, leaving aside their clinics, for an errand like this.

The moment he looked at my drained out condition, he was alarmed. After usual checkup, he diagnosed it as some stomach infection and acute dehydration. He decided to give an injection and prescribed a few tablets for recovery. He was looking grave and advised me to drink lime juice frequently and contact him in case my condition does not improve.

In a few days, I recovered completely by adhering to his advice and taking the medicines in the prescribed manner. Even though the weakness continued, it took almost a fortnight for me to become normal and attend to my day to day activities. I totally forgot the timely special visit and adept treatment given by my doctor.

I was watching a TV programme on “gratitude and thanks giving” and every word spoken in the TV programme  was like a blow of a whip, ….how people are ungrateful to timely help, care and attention bestowed on them and how they fail to pay back in words, if not in action, to the blessings received.. etc., Something pricked my conscience as if I was being admonished for my recent conduct. I was suddenly reminded of my Doctor who was a savior from my serious predicament. What have I done in return ?  I was impelled to start immediately to my Doctor’s clinic and at least express my gratitude in person and give my thanks to him.

The Doctor was pleasantly surprised to see me at his clinic .  “ Oh.. Nice to see you back to normal.  That day, you looked  so grave. If you were here on that day, I would have put you under saline, you know…”   

The enthusiastic and appreciative way  he received me,  made me shrink in shame for not having visited him promptly and expressed my thanks and gratitude. The well wishing Doctor is still remembering my illness even after so many days and is so happy to see me fit as a fiddle.. What an ungrateful man I was. 

“ Sorry Doctor.. I could not visit you earlier ?..”   

is all I could murmur in defence of my negligence

.  “ No.. What is wrong.. I think you are alright.. You look much better now..”

“ No Doctor.. I should have visited you earlier”  

I insisted.

 “ Tell me exactly.. Anything went wrong… Are you alright now  ?”  He was getting anxious and was about to examine me further in the usual manner, as if I was indisposed once again..

 “ No..No.. I am quite ok.. Only that there was  a slight delay”

 The Doctor was again anxious and asked me to lay down on the table so that he could start checking my BP, pulse etc.,

 “ Doctor.. I am fine.. totally fine.. What I want to tell you was that I should have thanked you for your timely help and excellent treatment given to me on that day ”

  The Doctor looked at me quizzically, not understanding what the matter with me was. I was determined to express my gratitude and thanks giving even if he was unassuming about it.

 “ Doctor.. I can never forget the timely help and treatment given to me on that day.. I was in a desperate and dangerous condition and it was because of your expertise, knowledge, injection, medicines and other guidelines given by you that I recovered my health and became normal.  It was because of your contribution towards recovery of my health that I am standing in front of you today. I wish to express my whole hearted gratitude and heartwarming thanks to you “

The Doctor was slowly beginning to understand my condition. Quite an unusual situation, in his busy clinic.

 “ That is alright Mr Rao.  It was my job and that is what I have done.. There is nothing great about it..” 

I retorted “ No Doctor..You cannot say like that.. You are so good and unassuming.. I won’t agree.. You must accept my gratitude and thanks and unless you accept it, my feeling will remain disturbed. Gratitude is an inward feeling of kindness, care, goodness etc., received and thanks giving is the off shoot, follow up of that impulsive feeling. I should keep saying thank you forever until you accept it.” I went on trying to justify my attempt to be grateful to him, recalling all the words and advice given in the TV programme.

At this point of time, the nurse entered and reminded the Doctor about the waiting patients.  The Doctor dismissed me saying “ If you have any more problems, you can always come to me..” and looked at me in a quizzical way, not knowing what type of sickness has seized me now.

I shook hands with him and left, wondering whether whatever I have done was sufficient enough to justify my visit to his clinic to redeem my awful failure to pay back my gratitude. Anyway, my conscience is clear now.

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72                    N O      K N O W
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There is something I do not know

That I am supposed to know.

I do not know what it is that I do not know.

I therefore feel that I look stupid,

If I seem both not to know it

And not know what it is that I do not know.

Therefore,  I pretend to know it.

This is nerve racking since I do not know

What I must pretend to know.

Therefore I pretend to know everything.

I feel you know

What I am supposed to know.

You cannot tell what it is.

Because you do not know

That I do not know what it is.

You may know what I do not know.

Not that I do not know it.

And I cannot tell you

So, you will have to tell me everything.

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 71                Final   Call
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The old man about to take his afternoon nap was startled when the phone rang.  He took the phone and said “hello”. 

A lady was speaking from the other end, asking him

“ Did you receive any message from your friends.? ”  

He could not understand and said “ No”. 

“ I thought you would have received the message.” 

He was now irritated and asked her “ Who are you ? and what do you mean”

“ Oh.. you did not recognize me. I am speaking from Trichy.”

The old man was now able to connect “ Trichy” where his old friend lived and recollected the voice of the lady.

       

        “ Your friend is no more….”

The old man was now stunned and speechless.

        “ He was not keeping well for some time….. He was hospitalized and we all tried our best…. We thought he would make it. But he did not”

        The old man tried to mumble something. The shock of hearing this about his dear old friend was overwhelming.

       

        “  Ravi  (son) came from Dubai and was with him for a week. We thought he would be ok.  ” 

        

The old man managed to ask her  “ what was the problem ?”

        “ You remember, last time when you spoke, he was actually not well. He had swollen leg and was unable to walk.  But he was quite cheerful after you spoke with him.  He was telling me so many things about you, right from your college days. The films you saw together, the picnics..and the pranks you did in college….”

        “ Yes.. That was two months ago.. I told him the names of almost 25 college mates and he was thrilled to hear those names..  He also added a few more names which I had forgotten.. Quite a feat for us after a gap of 65 years”

        “ He was in good mood afterwards. But his health was already failing.   He was not able to walk and climb stairs to our first floor house........   I was managing everything.”

        She kept talking and the old man was now in tears, remembering his dearest friend of more than six decades. His affection, generosity and helpful nature right from his college days, flashed like a lightening in his mind.  He was almost like an elder brother, protective, taking care of him in his teen years. Over the years, destiny took them to different places, chasing their own dreams.

        “ After the “bypass”  last year, he was struggling to recover. He was always expecting your call every month and used to talk about you. He told me so many things about you, about your paintings, how you played table tennis games…” 

        The old man was unable to control his tears.  He has lost that one last link with his past, especially the golden days of their youth.. There is no one now to share his past memories.  The witness-link is now cut off.

       

        “ He was in ICU for a week.  There were fluids in lungs. Later his kidney gave him problems. Dialysis was the only option.  I asked the Doctor whether he would recommend the same, if he were his own father. The Doctor just looked at me. But your friend did not want it….. Everything was normal.  Even his BP was 110/75…..  But on 15^th, he collapsed suddenly.  I was there in front of him. It was very peaceful and unexpected.”

        
        The old man cried and was unable to control himself. The lady must have heard his sobs. She waited for some time. She was a brave-heart explaining everything to him in detail.  “Our neighbor helped me to get the Death certificates. They gave me five originals, not enough for Pension, Bank, CDA, LIC etc., I requested and they gave me five more......I could not locate your phone number.  I inquired Krishnan and he got it today from your friend at Bangalore. Sorry for the delay…”

         
           Nothing mattered now for the old man.  Bosom friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget.  His friend was the only oldest link in his life,  a witness to everything right from his teenage days.  He was the only one to unravel and share the buried memories of all his yesteryears. The one bosom buddy who would listen to him with admiration and enthusiasm, is now out of reach forever. He has to trudge alone with none to share his teen age adventures and sweet memories lying stored in the archives history of his heart.

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70        T W O   in    O N E
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     He was proceeding to a far away town. His mother prepared a variety of his favorite dishes and gave him to carry for his meals, on the way. His mind was on his favorite food all the way and was planning to eat it at noon. Mid- way he met a passerby who was also going to the same town. Initially he was happy with his company but after some time he was getting disturbed, as his company would interfere with his eating his favorite food. He may have to share with him. He tried his best to avoid him. The fellow would not leave him at all.  Finally, he told a lie that he forget to bring something and was returning back to his village. The passerby bid good-bye and proceeded to his destination.

        After avoiding him, he settled down near a pond to take his meals. He wanted to wash his hands. There were some birds, dogs and some monkeys nearby and he was afraid of leaving his food packet on the banks of the pond, for washing his hands. He decided not to wash his hands and started eating happily. Only after eating everything, he found himself free of all his tensions, anxiety and worry. He was now quite happy and relaxed. He threw the empty packet and started once again to his destination, in a joyful mood.

        Now he found another man on the way, joining him to the same destination. He is now very happy to cover the distance in the company of this man.  Absolutely no problem at all.  No tension….

        You know why and how this transformation came.... The reason is quite obvious.  He has no food to carry now. He has consumed everything. The food, which was separate, is now inside his stomach. There is no fear or reluctation of sharing it with this fellow.  Earlier it was outside creating the tension, when he was carrying it.  Now it is inside. There is no separate food. There is no separate him. They are both one and the same now.    There is no duality. In other words, ADWAITHAM, in simple, elementary  terms,  for beginners…….

            Have you ever wondered why we are all unhappy, anxious, worried, restless, dissatisfied and want more joy and more happiness ? It is all due to maya which manifests and perpetuates a sense of false duality, split into “subject” and “objects’. The human mind is conditioned and subjected to experiences in a state of avidya or ignorance to misunderstand maya and interpret it as final reality.  In a state of avidya or ignorance, we act out of misery, fear, craving, hostility, rupture, confusion, trouble, desire etc., with a sense of separateness, caused by the split.. 

            When you begin to understand Advaita philosophy, you will know that there is One Soul that connects and exists in all living beings, regardless of their shapes or forms, without distinction….. no superior, no inferior, no devotee, no God etc., This oneness alone unifies all beings as a single reality, in advaita. THIS IS THAT..   THAT IS THIS...

        As long as you feel separate from the other, you are under the grip of maya. Brahman (Reality) does not really change; it is only our ignorance that gives the appearance of change. Due to avidya, the true identity is forgotten, and material reality, which manifests at various levels, is mistaken as the only and true reality. Subjectively, the food was very real to him. However, objectively, the presence of the food was all illusory and created by his mind.  Maya creates the ignorance of perception of separateness and diversity of objects in this world.   Correct understanding alone enlightens this knowledge of false duality, which results in liberation.          [also read 65 on Vedanta]

                                    
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 69                      C  R  E  A  T  O  R  
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 “  Who created God ? ”  is an easy question to ask, but very difficult to answer. A weak reply could be that an eternal Being has always existed — that nobody created Him. God is the Self-Existent One. It could be a plausible answer.  God reveals Himself everywhere, all the time, shows Himself clearly for all to see, in an infinite number of ways, Creator of the universe (matter, energy, space, and time),  from the spectacular expanse to the smallest, tiny atom. We also see the enormous intelligence implanted in everything.  It is utterly impossible to truly diminish his glory.  If there is a watch, there must be a watch-maker somewhere. What more do you need for an answer.

      God is conceived of as the Supreme Being and principal object of faith. Theism is the belief in the existence of one or more divinities, deities or Gods that is, belief in one God or many Gods. It is presumed that they exist within the Universe.  Some even believe that they are somewhere outside, transcendent,  independent of physical existence. They are  often considered to be omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent, always interacting or intervening with the Universe. Some even believe that God and the Universe  is the same thing. Some believe that everyone and everything is God. It is a question of belief. To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible. 

      In a world of suffering, violence, exploitation and evil, the question of an omnipotent, omniscient or benevolent God, a magical creature who thrives on the fear and suffering of humans, is not compatible. 

Epicurus questioned  " Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able to do it ? Then he is not omnipotent.  

If he is able, but not willing,  then he is malevolent.
If he is both able and willing, then how come evil ? 

If he is neither able nor willing, then why call him God ? ”.

When many believers are asked this question, they freeze, not knowing what to say.  We do not know all the reasons why God lets bad things happen.  If there is a God, he knows much more relevant facts than all of us and has reason to permit or allow certain detrimental things to happen.  It is something that we cannot fathom.   May be we suffer as a result of iniquities of others and God has nothing to do with that.

      Beliefs can be right or wrong. If you believe you can fly, that belief is only true if indeed you can fly. Therefore, others neither believe nor disbelieve in a God, considering the issue to be unimportant and irrelevant. They do not want to believe. They want to know.      It is most likely that God does not exist at all. Certainty about anything is uncertain. Therefore one can never know for sure whether or not a God exists. There is no truth.. only opinions. .  If God created a complex universe, wouldn't it take an even more complex entity to have created God ?  There is a famous saying that “ If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him ”. Another equally famous quote is that  “ If God did really exist, it would be necessary to abolish him ”.  It is difficult to assume that a God potent to shape galaxies would be titillated and swayed by the nonsense offered to  as “praise” or "worship”. If they are right, all of these are fictional characters invented by clever humans for a variety of purposes, ranging from molding your character, moral self discipline, psychological comfort, to entertainment, to exploitation. It is not wise to spend the whole night torturing your mind whether there is a God or not.  It is enough if a fairly scientific approach is taken as to why things happen and how they happen and not bother about anything else”

     

The existence of God is taken for granted.  I'm agnostic about the question and I'm agnostic about the answer.When Times get tough, remember who God is.

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68                       K  A  R  M  A   
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The benevolent King was feeding the Brahmans on full moon days.  When he was feeding them, an eagle flying in the sky was carrying a poisonous cobra in its feet and eating it also.  Due to extreme pain, the cobra released its poison from its fangs which dropped down from the sky.  A few drops of poison fell in the food vessel meant for feeding the Brahmans.  An unfortunate Brahman who ate it, fell down dead.  The King was upset beyond measure. Nobody knew the actual sequence of events.

            Chitragupta, who decided the fate of dead persons under the cosmic Karmic law of cause and effect, was now confused.  He was not sure whom to blame for this mishap.

            Is it the eagle?   How can the eagle whose normal food and prey is the snake, could be held responsible ?

           Is it the cobra ? How can the cobra which was suffering the pangs of death at the beak of eagle, be held responsible for emitting poison in pain?

          The King who distributed the food is also not responsible as he was not aware of the incident.

        The Brahman himself was not responsible as he was hungry and ate the food served to him along with others.

          It appeared that nobody was responsible for causing the premature death of the Brahman.

           As Chitragupta was not able to indict or incriminate  the person responsible for causing the death, he decided to consult the God of Death, Lord Yama himself for his decision.

        Yama who heard the case, was himself engrossed in deep thought and could not give an immediate answer.  ‘ Let us wait for some time to get the correct solution to this complicated case. Time alone can give us some clarity ”  was all he could tell Chitragupta.

          A few weeks later, a few Brahmans who had heard of the King’s generosity came to the town in search of charity.  They were not aware of the route and hence inquired a woman about the way to Palace.  The lady gave the correct direction to the Brahmans and inquired the purpose of their visit. The poor Brahmans explained their purpose of visit.  The lady cautioned them, “ Be careful.. This King kills the Brahmans by poisoning them ”

          The moment Chitragupta heard these words, uttered by the Lady, the confusion clouding his mind about the ambiguous case, got cleared immediately.  The unresolved Karma effect for the death of the Brahman would go to this woman only.  This woman invited the Karma effect for the death of the Brahman by her reckless implication of the harmless King.   

                                        EXPLANATION

The word " Karma " in  Sanskrit  simply refers to the Law of cause and effect. Karma is a belief that whatever you do will come back to you, either in this life or the next.

 “ REAP WHAT YOU SOW ”.    Karma is not blind destiny, divine judgment or a routine cosmic punishment. It is the principle that explains the natural repercussions that emerge from every action, whether that action is physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. The  ancient science of Karma,  explores reincarnation, the deeper mysteries of the soul, the laws of nature, and the ways in which  the chain reaction of cause and effect control our lives.   It is the physical manifestation of the law of balance and harmony, which functions within a cyclical frame work.  It is a neutral sequence of acts, results, and consequences thereof.  

You will find that whatever you send out into the world comes back to you in one way or another.  A boomerang returns back to the person who throws it. If you do not understand now,  you will understand it later. Situations seem to happen to people, but in reality, they unfold from deeper Karmic causes of your personal past.  It may be today, tomorrow, or years from now, but it happens. 

Ultimately, we ourselves are largely responsible for the way our lives unfold. Receiving misfortune does not necessarily indicate that one has committed evil. But it is a sufficient indicator of something else, and that something else can be anything, as long as it is a logical consequence of your personal past. ( for example: what the woman said to the Brahmans)  The reasons are plentiful and all plausible. The future can never lie about the past.   In the end,   you will see the beginning.    A very complex picture of how things work when life blindfolds and spins you around.

             Take care when you think, feel, talk and act

                in your day to day life.  It will boom rang.

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67                    F L A S H  B A C K  ______________________________________________________________________________

 

“ What is the charm that makes old memories so sweet ? "

We love those random memories that make us smile, no matter what is going on in our life right now. Nostalgia is a necessary thing, I believe, and a way for all of us to find peace in that which we have accomplished, or even failed to accomplish. It becomes increasingly easy, as you get older, to drown in nostalgia. Some memories are unforgettable, remaining ever vivid and heartwarming !    It is strange how we hold on to the pieces of the past, willing to trade all our tomorrows for one such single yesterday. The real moment has disappeared but you will always have the memories to remind you. One of the best ways to make yourself happy in the present is to recall happy moments from the past.      I wonder how many  can get such opportunities …

                 Let me  Rewind my Time Machine

1.         I am one among the few lucky men in this world who had the opportunity to see and garland  MAHATHMA GANDHI when I was about five or six years old. I vividly remember my father taking me in a bullock-cart to see MAHATHMA GANDHI who was passing through our village by train A temporary structure was installed near the Railway tracks, the standard method adopted by the general public, to see the MAHATHMA by waylaying the train carrying him.  My father climbed the steps carrying me on his shoulders, to garland MAHATHMA GANDHI with the Khadi yarns spun by us at home. What an occasion to garland one of the greatest men who ever walked on this earth.

2.      Sannadhi Street, where we stayed during 1950s was mainly occupied by Iyers & Lawyers and our neighbors on both sides of the house were no exception. I did not know, until decades later, my mother told me that R.Venkatraman,  who later became the President of India was our next door neighbor in those days. 

3.         I was lucky enough to spend a few hours with Sri TK Shanmugam of the illustrious TKS Theatre Company who staged about 70 productions in India and abroad  and  also cinematized many of them. I was lucky to get his autograph signed on his portrait, drawn by me,  from his film “ One night” written by CN Annadorai.

4.         I have seen in person and heard the inspiring speeches of  Periyar EVK Ramasamy Naicker, commonly known as Thanthai Periyar, Social activist, freedom fighter and politician who started Self respect movement and head of Justice Party which he changed to Dravida Kazhagam.  The party later split into DMK led by C.N. Annadorai and M Karunanidhi. I was frequently listening to their speeches in my town during my school days. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STPe6EJ51Ec

5.         I had the fortune to attend a marriage in my relative’s house in Madras and found that Chakravorthy C Rajagopalachariar,  close associate of Mahatma Gandhi, was staying in front of our house. He was the last Governor General of India, Chief  Minister of  Madras, founder of Swatantra Party and the Recipient of India’s highest civilian Award BHART RATNA in 1954.  As usual,  I drew his portrait and entered his house to get his autograph. He was reading a newspaper and asked me to donate one rupee to the Party. I did not have that much money as a boy and returned disappointed.

6.   In my school days, I had the fortune to sit in front of  KB Sundarambal, Queen of the Indian stage  and listen to her musical performance  during CHITRAI  FESTIVEL of our temple. She was a political activist during Freedom struggle.  A versatile singer of repute, stage artist and heroine of “ Avvaiyar” and other subsequent films. She was the first film artist to enter Madras legislative Assembly  in 1951. She was also the first person in the Indian film industry to command a salary of one lakh rupees. She was awarded PADMASHRI and also the National Film Award for BEST female playback singer by the Government of India. My all time favorite even today.

Listen to her… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDNSM0RyUa8

7.         When I was in College, I saw Pandit Nehru and his daughter Indira Gandhi passing through our area in an open car and cheered at them near Trinity Church, Bangalore. 

8.  I have heard the scintillating voice of M.S.Subbalaxmi – the Nightingale of India, sitting right in front of her at my town, Bangalore and Pune.  She was the first musician to be awarded BHARAT RATNA in 1998, India’s highest civilian honour,  Ramon Magsaysay Award in 1974, Padma Vibhushan in 1975, Padma Bhushan in 1954 etc., Pandit Nehru exclaimed, “ Who am I, a mere Prime minister before a Queen, a Queen of Music ? ”     The memories are indelible,  everlasting…  
 Listen   .....     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIw0sGOWOh8

9.        Tiru Muruga Kripananda Variyar Swamigal, a person who combined all the qualities of a saint, a scholar, an orator, a writer, and a devotee, who immersed his audience with his shower of devotional music, elevating  them to a high state of bliss,  was my favorite in my younger days. I have attended all his religious discourses, sitting in front of him in the first row, admiring his thunderous voice, songs and  anecdotes.      log on to ........  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeNla70pv6M

10.   LAL BAGH was the famous Park, very close to my College. The excellent garden, Water body and the Glass House were popular landmarks. Many film songs were shot in the Park adding beauty to the visuals. When I came to know that Gemini Ganesh and Anjali Devi were shooting in Lal Bagh for the film  கணவனே  கண் கண்ட  தெய்வம், I bunked the classes and witnessed the shootings for almost a week. It was my first visual experience to watch how film sequences are shot. The horse drawn chariot in which the princess passes through the park escorted by the soldiers; the clash with the hero; the fight scenes and the interlude with the princess-everything looked clumsy to me, until I saw the actual film which was quite exciting. Hindi version of this film was “ Devta”. After six decades, I visited both the Parks again and was astonished that they still retain much of its past glamour, undiminished. 

 11.           Mr. V.K.Krishna Menon, Defence Minster of India visited Poona to preside over the inauguration of Hindi Prachar Saba and I was lucky to see him very close and hear his address. He was the most powerful man, next only to his intimate friend Jawaharlal Nehru, the PM of India.  A very brilliant, eloquent, forceful and aggressive man, Secretary of the India League the most influential pre-Independence Indian lobby in the British Parliament, who worked assiduously to ensure that Nehru would succeed Mahatma Gandhi as the Prime Minister of  India.  He was the architect of  the Non Alignment Movement, distinguished diplomat in handling Suez crisis, who set the record for the longest speech before the UNITED NATIONS SECURITY COUNCIL while defending India's rights to the disputed territory of KASHMIR, in the process earning unprecedented popularity as the "Hero of Kashmir" .             I heard his  eloquent speech in English while presiding over Hindi Prachar Saba and when the organizers were looking pathetically at his speech in English, he made a sarcastic remark at them  “ Why are you pulling on a long face ? ” Always brilliant, popular and arrogant.

12.       During 1956, I saw and cheered at  Soviet Leader NIKITA KRUSHCHEV  (1894–1971) Stalin's successor,     and Nikolai Alexandrovich BULGANIN  who served as Minister of Defense and Premier of the Soviet Union under Nikita Khrushchev of  the USSR,  passing through MG Road at Bangalore.  

          Browse… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApWkI9kG-J0

13.       After a few months, President Gamal Abdel Nasser Hussein (1918 –1970) of Egypt who led the 1952 overthrow of monarchy in Egypt and became President of Egypt  from 1956 until his death visited India along with  Marshal TITO of Yugoslavia,  first and lifetime President of the Federal Executive Council of Yugoslavia.  I was able to see both of them passing through our area in a motorcade procession.  You may  nostalgically recall the Non Aligned Movement  and the Tito-Nasser- Nehru triumvirate plus Nkrumah and Sukarno.   

14.       I was lucky to see Queen Elizabeth II of England in close quarters during the 1960s when she came to visit the BIBLE SOCEITY near  Cubbon Park.  You can watch the event in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFkU5S3QLqQ 

15.      I was lucky to witness at TOWN HALL, Bangalore the convention of the SWATANTRA PARTY of India, founded by C Rajgopalachari  in reaction to what he felt was the Jawaharlal Nehru dominated Indian National Congress’s  increasingly socialist and statist outlook.  I saw such luminaries as C.Rajagopalachari, KM Munshi, Prof. N.G, Ranga, M.R.Masani, V.P.Menon, Khasa Subba Rao etc., in the stage. The Party created tremors for about 10years and later vanished from the scene.

16.       I was lucky to see Emperor Selassie of Ethiopia, near Raj Bhavan, Bangalore, who actually  responded to my salutations. Haile Selassie I was Ethiopia's 225th and last emperor, serving from 1930 until his overthrow by the Marxist dictator Mengistu Haile Mariam in 1974. The longtime ruler traced his line back to Menelik I, who was credited with being the child of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. You can browse…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zG5X4QOsh8U

17.    Pundit  Nehru came to Bangalore to honor the centenarian Sir M VISHWESHWARAIAH, Doyen of Engineers.   I attended the public celebrations, when Pundit Nehru climbed the stairs of the stage, jumping four steps at a time like a small boy,  to wild applause by the cheering public. Sir M VISHWESHWARAIAH  was an Indian engineer, scholar, statesman and the Diwan of Mysore from 1912 to 1918. He was a recipient of the Indian Republic's highest honour, the BHARAT RATNA, in 1955.  He was knighted as a Knight Commander of the British Empire (KCIE) by King George V for his contributions to the public good.  15 September is still celebrated as Engineer’s Day in India in his memory. He is held in high regard as a pre-eminent engineer of India. He was the chief engineer responsible for the construction of the Krishna Sagara Dam in Mysore  as well as the chief designer of the flood protection system for the city of Hydrabad. Sir SMV was not present on the stage as he was very old viz., 100 years.

18.    After many months, while I was going to office.  The Police, near Vidhan Souda building, stopped me as the traffic was getting diverted. The police told me that Sir S.M. VISHWESHWARIAH  is dead and that his body is lying in state for public darshan.  I joined the queue and the crowds started swelling. Sir SMV was lying in grandeur, fully dressed as usual in his western suit, coat, pants, shirt, tie, shoes and turban. He was always found in this apparel whenever he was seen in public. He was looking so small in appearance, due to old age. What a great man from the land of Mysore

19.  During 1961, I accompanied an elderly colleague who had an invitation for the inauguration of an Art Exhibition by SIR.C.P.RAMASWAMY IYER, who had earlier served as the Law member of the Governor of Madras and the Viceroy of India before being appointed Diwan of Travancore in 1936 for a period of ten years. We were early to arrive and my colleague introduced me to Sir CP as an Artist. Sir CP was discussing with me about art and we proceeded towards the Hall. I also joined him and went inside after his inauguration and discussed about the paintings exhibited there. Later he spoke about art in general and I was amazed at his proficiency and expertise in the subject, far beyond the frontiers of my knowledge. The   speech   appeared in the newspapers and I wrote a very long critical analysis on modern art based on the news item. It appeared in Indian Express and generated a debate for and against views published.

20.  The three Tables in the Recreation room of my 0ffice, sent me in raptures making me spend 3  to 4 hours of play daily in the evening, to my heart’s content. I used to play in tournaments, where my spectacular stunts and extraordinary shots used to excite the spectators in the gallery, exploding in thunderous applause.  Frankly, I liked playing to the gallery.  In later years, I was a member of the District TT association and organized all India TT tournaments, mingling with the Champions and top players of India  like  K Nagraj, T.Tiruvenkadam,  Sudhir Thakersy, FR Khodaiji ,  Amsadwala, Renganayakulu, G.Jagannath,  Mir Khasim Ali, Niraj Bajaj,  Manjit Dua, Monty Merchant, Chandrasekar, etc., who brought glory to Indian Table tennis game.

21. I wrote an article about Shivaji Ganeshan in a allegorical style of Tamil in its pure form, a style made famous by Sri CN Annadorai. My friend took it to Kanchipuram and showed it to Mr Annadorai, who was very much impressed and wrote his appreciative remarks below my article. He was surprised when my friend disclosed that the writer was not a Tamilian.

22.  I performed in popular city theatres in various drama competitions. The students of Film Institute attended one such performance, in the year 1969, appreciated my acting and requested me to perform in one of their projects. I took three days casual leave and took part in the film shooting at The Film and Television Institute of India on the erstwhile Prabhat Studio premises at Pune,   which was witnessed by Asrani, Shatrughan Sinha, Jaya Bhaduri and other students. They became famous later on. I overheard them talking about Jaya’s performance in “Guddi”).   My 4 years old son also witnessed the shooting.   This is the only occasion when future VIPs watched me in action.

23.    I was surprised when SWAMI CHINMAYANANDA  agreed to speak on DISCIPLINE  to our staff in our 0ffice. As Secretary I supervised all the arrangements and the lecture was excellent and inspiring. I was sitting in the third row and trying to sketch the portrait of the Swamiji. After the lecture, the Boss took the Swamiji to his cabin for Tea. The Swamiji wanted to see the Reporter who was making notes of his lecture and everyone was running around to locate the Reporter. Since we had not invited any reporter, someone said that only I was taking some notes and so I was called to the cabin. The Swamiji looked at me and recognized me. I was worried as both the Boss and the Swamiji might be upset to know what I was doing. “Please show me the notes,” the Swamiji said and I meekly surrendered the sheet. “Oh..it is my picture. Very nice,” said Swamiji. “Thank you so much Swamiji, I shall be grateful to have your autograph in this please.” I ventured and to my surprise the Swamiji signed in the Picture (in Malayalam script). I was thanking my good luck that day.

24.   Y.B. CHAVAN, Defence Minister,  was the Chief Guest for Prize distribution. He was always smiling and I was there with his drawing to be autographed. The Boss also approved the attempt. At the right moment I stretched my picture with an anticipatory look. He looked at the paper thinking it to be a memorandum or something and was all in smiles to discover it to be his portrait and continued to smile the same way.  When I asked for his signature, he went on smiling without attempting to sign and slowly the smile in my face  also disappeared.

25.   I was Runner-up in Shuttle-cock Championships (Pune region 1969) and Mr. MORARJI DESAI, Finance Minister presided over the Prize Distribution. I had drawn a portrait of him and kept ready for his autograph but my Boss disapproved as the Minister was in bad mood. As the list of prize winners was long. Mr. Morarji Desai was getting irritated. When my turn came to receive the prizes. I shook hands with him and received the prize.  “I think you people have no Govt. work to do” was the comment Morarji Desai made after giving the prize to me. The alarmed Boss promptly stopped reading the names of sub-sequent winners and switched to the next agenda item. I was also happy in not showing him the drawing as I would have got the same remark.

 

26.    I attended the 3 days DAVIS CUP matches between India and West Germany in 1970 at Pune.  Jaidip Mukherjea and Premjit Lal played for India. Ramanathan Krishnan was there as a coach/Manager and I managed to talk with him. What a great player he was, the first Asian player to win the Boy’s singles title in Wimbledon 1954, twice semi finalist in Wimbledon 1960 & 1961, defeated Rod lever in four sets in Davis cup 1959, Indian Champion for 8 years at a stretch, Arjuna Award 1961, PadmaShri 1962 and Padma Bhushan in 1967. His son Ramesh repeated his father’s feat of winning the Boy’s title in Wimbledon. In the Indian News films shown regularly in the theaters, in those, days, I was frequently visible during the matches. Another unforgettable moment.

27.   When I was the secretary of our Club, we decided that RAJ KAPOOR should be the chief guest of our TT Tournament of 1975.  I managed to achieve this Herculean task. When Raj Kapoor arrived to preside over the Finals, it was a red letter day. It was a dream come true. The six hours I spent with him were unforgettable. It was most widely published event of the year, in news, Magazines, Radio, TV  and Indian News Review films.

28.       Next year when I suggested the name of DILIP KUMAR, they added SAIRA BHANU also and with little strategy and luck I managed to get their confirmation. They have a reputation of not attending public functions and I was worried unto the last day. When the plane landed at Lohegaon airport, my heart was beating fast. Will they come? The last one to come out was Ramesh Sippy, the Producer of Sholay.  My heart sank but rose to dizzy heights when I saw Dilip Kumar emerging out, followed by Saira Bhanu. Dilip Kumar introduced me to Ramesh Sippy, who insisted that Dilip Kumar would be his guest at his home. I was pleading with him, not knowing that he was teasing me. The Finals next day was a grand success and Niraj Bajaj (related to Rahul Bajaj the industrialist) was the winner. There was a scramble for autographs from one and all, including Military 0fficers. I had pleasant moments with both of them, undoubtedly the most charming and charismatic couple.

29.  I was lucky to meet JONNY LEVER  at  Kolalumpur airport, while returning from USA to India. I talked with him in Tamil for quite some time and also recorded our conversation in my video. A very versatile comdedian and also my favourite one.

30.  I had few occasions to see SATYA SAI BABA of Puttaparthi and the first occasion was during 1964 at Malleshwaram. I was attracted by the huge crowd listening to Satya Sai Baba. He won fame for mystical powers and the ability to heal. I used to visit Prashanthi Nilayam at Puttaparthi  and was very lucky to make the last trip to Puttaparthi during 2011 and stayed there for a couple of days. Satya Sai Baba was not well and used to give his darshan to the waiting devotees by arriving in a special car inside the Hall, seated on a wheel chair. We had a close view of him and heard adoring words from many devotees staying with us. He was  hospitalized and breathed his last in April that year. An estimated 500,000 people attended the burial, among them the prominent VIPs of India. Indian Government released a postage commemorative stamp on the spiritual guru in recognition of numerous schools, colleges, hospitals, and other charitable institutions founded in India and abroad by him.

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66          QUESTION   OF    T I M E
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           The Concept of Time is the creation of mind.  In fact, it is inside the mind only, an abstract thing. Time is not a substance at all.  It does not exist independently outside our mind. Time is the greatest invention ever made by mankind, to comprehend the events in the universe in a cohesive manner. The unique feature of Time is its one-way, unidirectional flow.  The past, present and the future could be easily perceived and understood by its application. While the laws of science do not fluctuate between the past and future, the concept of Time breaks all the rules, with its wayward, disorderly and confusing concept.  Aristotle  identified Time as a measure of change.  The ‘ now ’ itself keeps changing, never the same, becomes ' then ' and is bound to the past and future. Apparently there appears to be no other way to deal with the problem. Time has gathered the wisdom of the world,   in its evolutionary process, and taken the prime spot in day to day affairs of each and every one, to apply and practice it in their own way, to their own satisfaction.

Time is free, it is priceless.

You can use it but cannot own it.

You can spend it but you cannot keep it.

If you lose it, you will never get it back

Take time to laugh.  Take time to play.

Take time to think.   Take time to read.

Take time to give.    Take time to pray.

Take time to work.   Take time to rest

You will never find time for anything.

If you want time,  you must find it.

Time will show what matters

It is the fountain of wisdom.

 Time is most important

You have your power only at that Time

If you are too busy, you have no Time.

If you fix your priorities, you will find time.

When organized, Time is plenty and surplus

Believe in the power of time to heal and to renew

Time is like a river.

You cannot touch the same water again.

 The flow that has passed will never come again.

 Do not waste your time on someone who has no time for you.

 Time is short, use it maximum.

Time expands when you are sad.

Time runs fast when you are enjoying

Time prolongs when you are depressed

 Time expands when it is filled with joy.

Time expands when you are expecting.

Time is what we want most but what we use worst.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
 The speed of Time is infinite.

Time flies.

Do not waste time.

 It is the source of power.

You cannot force Time to wait.

If you yield, Time will be on your side.

No good comes from hurrying.

If you are late, it is your fault.

Time does not wait for you.

Past is a great Teacher.

Time spent in enjoyment is not a waste.

You can fool all the people for some time,

You can fool some of the people all the time,

You cannot fool all the people all the time.

Yesterday is the past.

Tomorrow is the future.

But today is the Present.

Always do your best.

When a bird is alive, it eats ants.

When it is dead, ants eat the bird.

Time and circumstances can change at any time.

What you plant now,  you will harvest later. 

 If you fill up all your time, you won't have any

You can save Time

 It is a God-given privilege.   

 It is the greatest power on Earth.

        This universe is   “  MAYA  ”  a magic-show of appearing and disappearing, in a constant flow of changing situations, confusing, intoxicating and deluding the human race from time immemorial. Time is an illusion.  It is a tool to play the mind game with the universal unchanging principles, trying to uncover the hidden reality or riddles of nature. It is an endless infatuation to seek true insights and knowledge of the mystic principles.

             TIME IS THE MEDIUM FOR LIBERATION.

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65           TRINITY  OF   VEDANTA
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1. Adi Shankara   ;  born in a village named Kaladi in the state of Kerala during 8th century, consolidated the doctrine of ADWAITA VEDANTA, (absolute monism)   as influenced by Shaivism and Shaktism.   Advaita bases itself upon the Upanishads, the Brahma-sutras and the Bhagavad-Gita.   His Advaita ("non-dualism") declares that “ the one unchanging entity (Brahman) alone is real, while changing entities do not have absolute existence”. MOKSHA or jivanmukti is self-realization, the awareness of Oneness of Self and the Universal Spirit called Brahman.  Advaita asserts that the real, essential identity of the Jiva, the individual self, is nothing other than Brahman Itself. The essential identity of the  Atman  and  Brahman is the most important tenet of Advaita. Brahman is the substratum on which all phenomena are experienced,  and also the athman, the One Lord who dwells in all beings. The innermost Atman, the real Self, is the same as and identical to Brahman. Liberation (moksha) consists in realizing this identity, not just as a matter of literal or intellectual understanding, but as something that is to be grasped by the individual in his/her own personal experience.  Sankara has an unparalleled status in the tradition of Advaita Vedanta.

2. Ramanuja, born at Sriperumpudur,(1017–1137) in Tamil nadu.   His Vishishtadvaita philosophy has competed with the Dvaita philosophy of Madhvacharya, and  Advaita philosophy of  Adi Sankara. The Vedic literature, asserted Ramanuja, mention both plurality and oneness, therefore the truth must incorporate pluralism and monism, or qualified monism.  Ramanuja concluded that qualified monism is at the foundation of Hindu spirituality. Ramanuja's Vishishtadvaita shares the devotional ideas with Madvacharya’s Dvaita. Both schools assert that Jiva (human souls) and Brahman (as Vishnu) are different, a difference that is never transcended. God Vishnu alone is independent, all other gods and beings are dependent on Him, according to both Madhvacharya and Ramanuja. Ramanuja's theory states that  both Brahman and the world of matter are two different absolutes, both metaphysically real, neither should be called false or illusive. God, like man, has both soul and body, and all of the world of matter is the glory of God's body. The path to Brahman (Vishnu),  is devotion to godliness and constant remembrance of the beauty and love of personal god (saguna Brahman, Vishnu), which ultimately leads one to the oneness with nirguna Brahman.

3. Madhva Acharya born in Pajaka near Udupi in Karnataka state in the year 1238 A.D.  a Hindu philosopher, credited with thirty seven works in Sanskrit and the chief proponent of the Dvaita (dualism) school of Vedanta. He was a critic of  Adi Sankara’s Advaita Vedanta and  Ramanuja’s Vishishtadvaita Vedanta teachings, built on the premise that there is a fundamental difference between Atman (individual soul, self) and the Brahman (ultimate reality, God Vishnu). These are two different unchanging realities. The individual soul, never identical, is dependant on Brahman.  The human soul and God (as Vishnu) are two different things.  The metaphysical reality is plural.  There are primarily two categories of reality —independent reality and  dependent reality. Ishwara (as God Vishnu or Krishna) is the cause of the universe and the only independent reality. The created universe is the dependent reality, consisting of Jīva (individual souls) and Jada (matter, material things).  Individual souls are plural, different and distinct realities. Jīvas are sentient and matter is non-sentient. Vishnu is the highest entity in the Universe;  all other gods and beings are dependent on Him.  Evil and suffering in the world, originates in man, and not God.  Man has free will, but is influenced by his innate nature, inclinations and past karma. Madhvacharya advocated dualism and realism, and  introduced a balance between these two extreme positions in Indian philosophy viz. Advaita and Vishishtadvaita.

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 64                Criteria   of    truth
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              TRUTH is not what it seems, but what it is.  It is realized by assumption. We live in a fantasy world, a make believe world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. The truth is always camouflaged, incontrovertible and stranger than fiction.   It is a fascinating and complicated matter. It should therefore be approached and realized with great caution. Everything we hear is always an opinion, not a fact. There are no facts, only interpretations or ‘ hear-say ’.  Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.  What is essential is invisible to the eye. Whatever is seen or heard may not be true.    All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered.  The problem is how to discover them.  Facts do not cease to exist `just because they are ignored.  A thing is not necessarily true because a man swears for it.    On our quest to truth, we are prone to make mistakes. Once the impossible is eliminated, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

          ASSUMPTION  is a thing derived and accepted as true or as certain to happen, based on comparison of unbiased data and a source of design.  A hypothesis taken for granted. Therefore, we begin to simply assume that the way we see or understand things, is the way they really are or the way they should be. Our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions.  Therefore, in any attempt to find the truth, we have to examine the habitual beliefs, assumptions and the proofs. Every clue, exhibit, proof, data, testimony leads to assumptions. All conventional wisdom has an element of truth to it, but it requires more than an element of truth. It requires an ensemble of correct assumptions and valid calculations.

         

        FAITH is taking the first step, in a chosen direction, in a highway without knowing the destination. Just because you do not see, it doesn't mean it isn't there. You can't see the future, yet you know it will come.  You can't see the air, yet you continue to breathe.  Faith is to believe what you do not see. The reward of this faith is to see what you believe.  Faith is the bird that feels the sun-light when the dawn is still dark.  Faith is knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.   Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. Faith is about trusting God when you have unanswered questions. To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible. Faith believes in something when common sense tells you not to.

         

       The CRITERIA FOR TRUTH must determine what standards distinguish truth from falsehood.  The standards and rules should be followed to verify, evaluate and judge the veracity of statements and claims. Even sound logic may not be adequate to distinguish truth from falsehood.  Some methods may be adequate while others are questionable. One never knows whether all the relevant facts are taken into account. Only an omniscient mind would know all the facts.

          TRUTH IS REALIZED BY ASSUMPTIONS ONLY, until it becomes questionable by its own contradictions.

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 63              T E AM   W O R K
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              It is interesting to share some wise sayings about the benefits of cooperation and team work in our daily life.  Great improvements, development and progress invariably involve the cooperation of many minds. Individually we are a drop, but together we are an ocean, working together for the greater good of all. The achievements of an organization are the results of the combined effort of each and every individual.  It is amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.

             Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common goal and the ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results. No problem is insurmountable. With a little courage, teamwork and determination we can together overcome anything. Great progress, development and improvements invariably involve the contribution and cooperation of many minds. The most powerful force ever known on this planet is human cooperation - a force for progress and development. If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples, then you and we will still  have only one apple each. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

            Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that has always happened. If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the Team won't be scoring at all. Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great. Every kind of   cooperation among men is primarily based on mutual trust.  If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own.

              By competition you can be better in a selfish way, but by cooperation you can enjoy the best together. A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together becomes reality. None of us is as smart as all of us. Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress;  Teamwork is the fire that ignites ordinary people to achieve extra ordinary results. Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off. Cooperation and collaboration will beat competition every time. We must keep on trying to solve problems, one by one, stage by stage on the basis of confidence, mutual toleration, adjustment and cooperation. Individual commitment to a group effort -that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a nation work.

            Working together is success.          Working together  is  the secret.

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62                H A U N T E D
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      Ghosts have a past, they are ephemeral, generally miserable, forlorn  and depressed.  This is the story of two ghosts named ‘katteri’ and ‘Soni’ hovering around some houses in a village, waiting for an opportunity to take over a suitable person. The ghosts were restless until they found a newly married bride vulnerable to their designs. Now possessed by the ghosts, the bride started behaving in a queer way. She became belligerent when she was under the spell of ‘Katteri’ and quite intriguing under ‘Soni’ spell.  She was shuttling between two contrasting personalities, one after other, finding little time to be herself. But the enchanted husband, who was enamored of his wife, was unable to cope with the three faces of his eve.   Totally worn out of his romantic stupor, the beleaguered husband sought advice from all and sundry.  How can such a sweet girl behave in extremes? What has gone wrong ? It slowly dawned on him that there was a nexus between her and some super natural forces. Or else how can one rationally explain her switching roles from defiant  ‘katteri’,  to a quaint ‘Soni’ and to the docile normal self, in turns.

       A magician from a nearby village unraveled the mystery. Under his stern rituals, the mysterious foreign immigrants disclosed their identity. ‘Katteri’ turned out to be a terrorist killed in an encounter, still floating around in unabated anger of a restless soul. Under diabolic threats delivered in coercive language of the magician, ‘Katteri’ got the shivers and opted to abandon the lady for good. It was an incredible achievement.

      ‘There is one more left’ bemoaned the husband to the bewilderment of the magician who was now exhausted. Before the rituals could once again pick up the crescendo, the timid ‘Soni’ finally disclosed her identity. It was an young girl named Sona Bai,  married to an unworthy man in a nearby village  and underwent intolerable abuse and suffering.  She ultimately put an end to her untold misery by jumping into a well, opting for a premature, untimely tragic end.   The disclosures of ‘Soni’ matched with the recent happenings in a relative’s house, in an adjacent village. ‘Soni’ pleaded for retention and promised to be a well-wisher of the house. As the magician’s spell was waning and the ghost was known to the family, the drive was stopped. However, the husband learnt the rituals from the magician as a standby.

       ‘Soni’ kept her promise and turned up only in times of serious trouble, as a savior.  Soni used to possess the lady in times of  crisis and dictate the solution. The family was blessed and relieved of serious problems with her timely intervention. Many relatives witnessed such incidents, including the mother in law of the deceased  Sona Bai of nearby village. When the lady was pregnant, ‘Soni’ possessed her and declared “ It is twins”. The family was jubilant with the disclosure by ‘Soni’.   Soni used to take over her frequently and used to be very happy in the body of the pregnant lady. She used to mutter “how long I was waiting for this.” The husband was now tired of his wife suffering under the clutches of ‘Soni’  for so  long. When the twins arrived, the mother was still possessed by ‘Soni’, who would not leave her at all. The strange way of fondling the babies by the possessed mother presented an ethereal atmosphere in the house. The mother in law of the late Sona Bai, now ghost, came to see the babies.  She invited the family to attend the marriage of her son.

               The turning point of relief came like a lightening. ‘Soni’ vanished. all of a sudden. The mother of twins was now totally dispossessed of ‘Soni’. Visitors thronged to look at the beaming mother divested of ‘Soni’. It was rumoured that the husband invoked magical rituals and persuaded the ghost to seek shelter elsewhere.  ‘Soni’ who had a long and pleasant tenure was apparently pleased to leave them once and for all. The haunt was over.

      Ghosts have a past, they are ephemeral, generally miserable, forlorn  and depressed. The haunting and taunting has started elsewhere.  ‘Soni’ has now possessed the wife of her husband who had remarried.

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61             Mr.  P E R F E C T
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        The Chief Controller  of the MNC was a perfectionist, a precisionist to the core.  He never approved anything that was almost right, unless it was exactly right. Looking for perfection was his only way to motivate others and therefore his subordinates were scared of his grilling questions. They were always wavering in suspense, before entering his room, whether there was anything more to add and that nothing is left out. Even trifles were part of perfection. He was very addictive in his belief and quite oppressive in his work.  He was perfect and made others also perfect. After listening for a few minutes, he would just put one question that would make them run for cover and scatter all their thought process. His ability to strike at the vital point was phenomenal.  No one is yet to distract and misguide him into a wild goose chase.  A very pragmatic and level headed bureaucratic robot, confined to rules, regulations, enactments, instructions, definitions, judicial interpretations etc., and his real intention was to train his assistants to learn the tricks of  management in the interest of the future of the MNC to which he was devoted.

          His craftsmanship and expertise was unexplainable.  He was endowed and blessed with these qualities which others did not possess.  He was the envy of other distinguished Managers elsewhere. He was a genius, a walking encyclopedia, sharp and alert to learn and correlate the same in an unusual and effective way. He excelled his contemporaries and also his predecessors.  Rome was not built in a day. Beneath the surface of his mastery, was years of toil, hard work sleepless nights and tenacious efforts to learn and manage what he learnt.

 

          Against this background, he was initially very gentle and helpful to his Assistants who were beginners.  Later when he found out that they were trying to extract their work from him, he woke up and applied the brakes. He instructed them to do their own home work and propose their line of action, before approaching him for guidance. In his long career, he had come across such hackers conjuring up new ways to hijack his expertise, by exploiting his vulnerable nature or by raising some fake technical issues. Once alerted of such “stolen moments”, he stopped becoming a victim of such unscrupulous intruders and their manipulations. He was always alert in not allowing them to exploit his expertise. He invented new methods to discourage such parasites who would attempt to reap easy benefits on his hard work. Many of his Assistants found it too hot to work under him.

    As a very Senior Manager, he was distressed at the slack attitude of the present generation, missing a golden opportunity to learn from him and improve their own expertise.  He was not preaching platitudes; on the other hand, he was actually showing them the way, building bridges, exposing dimensions for them.  Many times, he used to wonder how to deal with such Assistants who are easy-going, unimaginative, unthinking and shallow. He was aware that knowledge and wisdom is not to be locked up and confined in closed quarters.  He was finding this as a vexatious issue. “To tell or not to tell” was the question, tormenting him day and night. By disclosing, he was not grooming his Assistants. By withholding what he knew, he became restless.  He was not able to sleep, as the problem was hanging elsewhere and the solution was locked up in his mind.  He used to analyze the situation in an impartial manner to find a proper way out.    

          “ Should I guide this stupid, lazy fellow ? ” 

        “ Should I keep quiet and let the problem rot ?”

  “ Why does he not study and struggle the hard way I learnt it ?”

       There is no use whatsoever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he is willing to climb himself.   He wished he would rather be surrounded by smart people, ready to learn, to move higher, faster and smarter.

       His zest for perfection and excellence took him to great heights in his career and he retired with accolades. He had touched the peak as a zenith of perfection. The boss exclaimed, “ When will come such another ? ”

       The trouble started in  his retired life, when he continued his official habit in his private life. What was admired and what worked wonders in his official work, became a nuisance in his private retired life. He was still sitting in his ivory towers. He believed that his ideas and opinions are absolute, final and authoritative, as against the opinions of others. His callous concern for meticulous accuracy, almost a second nature, irritated friends and relatives and gave him stress, pain and frustration.  Even casual innocent conversation became difficult as he could not digest their loose talk.    He was always serious, trying to correct the inadequacies of others and trying to excel them. None of his friends could confront him because he was proving himself right always. His conviction and the ground rules set by him for discussion, invited nothing but annoyance in his social circle. The extraordinary amount of mental energy invested by him gave him  a feeling of empowerment to dominate the people around him. He expected approval and submissiveness from others as if he was entitled to it.   His aggressiveness, irritability and low tolerance levels lead to frequent arguments and challenges with friends.   He became aloof, moody and unpredictable in his behavior due to his alienation.

        Those who think they know everything are a great nuisance to the rest of us.  After all, communication must be radiation, receiving and exchange. Once it irritates, the spacious quality of the message fails to reach as communication, gets rejected giving place to gossip or criticism. A little nonsense now and then is cherished as a means for relaxation. He took seriousness to unhealthy levels.  The glory of his  past was receding and an entirely different image of an erratic, nasty, cranky, rigid old man was emerging. He lost more on his retirement than what he achieved in his hey days.  His life was now a tangle of the past into the present.

      The ghost of the wizard was still riding him, unwilling to dismount.


  
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